I'm going to move all of my manuscript stuff to a new blog Offworldstory. So, if you are interested you can ring in on the ideas and processes as I try to get my new project going.
http://offworldstory.blogspot.com/
-Matt
Friday, December 28, 2007
Monday, December 24, 2007
Christmas Eve 7:06
My entire Puerto Rican family came over from Miami for Christmas this year since my wife is unable to travel due to the baby. As I write they are sitting in the living room watching what I can only decribe as Latino Musica videos. These videos are not the MTV run of videos but more akin to watching Sinatra or Tony Bennet in concert (on dvd). Since I probably wouldn't watch Sinatra or Tony Bennet on DvD (actually there are precious few musicians I would watch on dvd) and I understand what they are saying due to English being my mother tongue I decided to take a break from the festivities and blog a little bit. Have no fear though my Spanish is improving poco y poco (little by little and I can follow a conversation now and at least get the gist of it.
We put an addition on our house in order to make more room for baby William and after Christmas I will be moving the computer and our mini-library to the new study. It's supposed to be in the mid 70's tomorrow. I have been in Florida since 2000 and I have never gotten used to the Christmas season down here. "Dashing through the grass," never worked for me and it never will. Ah well, you take the good with the bad. No black ice, no sleet, no slush, no "warming up the car" it's a fair trade off.
I've seen Mike and Tim back online and it warms my heart. Not that they are playing video games but that I get to talk with them and interact with them a little more even if it is in a limited way.
After the music videos we are going to a party at Frank's house. Frank is the guy who put in our new floors and the addition to our house. He is a friend of the family and a great guy. After the party we are coming back to the house for...more latino music videos and then who knows.
Well, I'm off for more frivolity and fun, talk you all later.
We put an addition on our house in order to make more room for baby William and after Christmas I will be moving the computer and our mini-library to the new study. It's supposed to be in the mid 70's tomorrow. I have been in Florida since 2000 and I have never gotten used to the Christmas season down here. "Dashing through the grass," never worked for me and it never will. Ah well, you take the good with the bad. No black ice, no sleet, no slush, no "warming up the car" it's a fair trade off.
I've seen Mike and Tim back online and it warms my heart. Not that they are playing video games but that I get to talk with them and interact with them a little more even if it is in a limited way.
After the music videos we are going to a party at Frank's house. Frank is the guy who put in our new floors and the addition to our house. He is a friend of the family and a great guy. After the party we are coming back to the house for...more latino music videos and then who knows.
Well, I'm off for more frivolity and fun, talk you all later.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
So tired
I was up until 12:30 this morning painting and now, 12 hours later I give you "An Ode to Groginess."
I hate you grogginess
Dragging me down
Like starving jackals
Pulling at the tender nose
Of my wildebeest calf
Which is sleep
Dragging me down
Begone Jackals!
I hate you grogginess
Dragging me down
Like starving jackals
Pulling at the tender nose
Of my wildebeest calf
Which is sleep
Dragging me down
Begone Jackals!
Peeps
This is really rough. It's looks a little like stream of consciousness writing. Anyway, here it is.
Of Men:
Midlanders
Ebresh
Easterns
Podes
1: Midlanders
An agricultural society inhabiting the fertile plain that dominates the middle of the continent, Midlanders tend to be of average height (5’10” to 5’11” for males and 2 to 3 inches shorter for females). Midlanders have pale to brown skin and are usually sun darkened from working outside. The Midlands are the bread-basket of the continent and as such most Midlanders are farmers, shepherds or herdsmen. They are widely known for their hospitality but also for their stubborn nature and their colloquial wisdom (snow like meal, snow a great deal). Midlanders society is made up of independent farms each governed by a family and sometimes supporting several families on larger farms. Midlanders meet once a week at the local market (usually a collection of tents and booths clustered in a field) to trade and socialize. There are no cities as such in the Midlands though some farms have grown large enough to resemble small towns. The most famous of these farms is the Linkton Farm in the North Midlands. Midlanders are shrewd traders and supply many of the countries surrounding them with goods. They are constantly in danger of bandit attack and each farm employs it’s own fighting force usually trained by a former soldier or elder militiaman. The Midlands also enjoy special protection from surrounding countries due to the nature of the land and the value of the people that work it as the Midlands provide nearly all the food for the surrounding countries. As stated before Midlanders are fiercely independent and do not take sides when nations go to war choosing instead to profit from supplying both armies with food and goods. Some Midland farmers are wealthier than the kings that buy their goods but due to the nature of the people of the Midlands one would never know it.
2: Ebresh
A tribe of hunters and warriors residing in the High North, the Ebresh are a dying race. They are the tallest of the tribes of men and men over seven feet tall are not uncommon. Ebresh men ten to wear well-trimmed beards while the women keep their hair in thick braids. A man’s beard is symbol of his authority and to have one’s beard shorn is a sign of deepest humiliation. For the women hair is much less important than having children according to the Ebresh a truly blessed woman will bear more than ten children, more than thirteen children is considered a sign of divine favor. The Ebresh are hunters and subsist by hunting and foraging in the northern forests they call home. They are great breeders of dogs and often cross their own fierce breeds with the massive wolves that share the forests with them. Typical Ebresh family society is man and usually two wives. One wife a man takes when he is young, in his early twenties is typical marrying age for young men, for women it is typically younger (15-19). When an Ebresh man is old (in his late 50’s to early 60’s) he takes another wife to comfort him in his old age and to assist the fist wife with the work. When an Ebresh man dies his possessions pass on to his second wife who is responsible for caring for his first wife until she dies. When only the second wife and the man’s children are left a brother of the dead man who has no second wife takes the widowed second wife of his brother to himself and raises the firstborn son of the dead man to take over the house which then passes to him upon marriage to his first wife at which point the cycle is repeated. The Ebresh share the High North with the vicious Shogar and are at constant war with them raiding back and forth and killing as they may. Both races have suffered greatly from the constant battle and now the Shogar have been pushed high into the tundra while the Ebresh live in scattered bands throughout the vast forest. The Ebresh are accomplished metal workers and craft marvelous coats of mail, swords spears and axes. They are the greatest archers and trackers in the realm and are often called upon by southern kingdoms to catch criminals or scout for military campaigns.
3: Easterns
The Easterns are shorter than both the Ebresh and the Midlanders and their skin ranges from dusky brown to bronze to nearly black. They are a sea people, builders of boats, navigators, shipwrights, fishermen and explorers. The people of Manslin are Easterns. Eastern families are typically small with three children being considered a large family. This is due to the fact that Easterns are great builders and the largest cities on the continent lie on the Eastern shore. Easterns are an urban people and consider the Ebresh to be barbaric and the Midlanders simple. They are typically a wealthy people taking pearls and coral from the sea and trading their wares for gems, gold and dry goods. Both men and women wear jewelry in the form of rings in the ears and nose as well as necklaces, bracelets and finger and toe rings. The men are frequently tattooed on their backs, forearms, and chests with images of the sea, sea creatures, or runes. Women wear their hair unbound in various styles and are often tattooed at the small of the back, ankles, wrists and around the navel. Easterns are great traders and convey goods up rivers and down coastlines to the farthest corners of the continents. Easterns ships are the largest and fastest on the water and the Shipping Guild closely regulates who and what is ferried about in them.
Note: Mansliners are sometimes considered a sub group of Easterns as they focus all their maritime efforts on fishing and do very little trading or exploring. They are by far the most insular of Easterns.
Podes:
Ran out of time.
More to come...
Of Men:
Midlanders
Ebresh
Easterns
Podes
1: Midlanders
An agricultural society inhabiting the fertile plain that dominates the middle of the continent, Midlanders tend to be of average height (5’10” to 5’11” for males and 2 to 3 inches shorter for females). Midlanders have pale to brown skin and are usually sun darkened from working outside. The Midlands are the bread-basket of the continent and as such most Midlanders are farmers, shepherds or herdsmen. They are widely known for their hospitality but also for their stubborn nature and their colloquial wisdom (snow like meal, snow a great deal). Midlanders society is made up of independent farms each governed by a family and sometimes supporting several families on larger farms. Midlanders meet once a week at the local market (usually a collection of tents and booths clustered in a field) to trade and socialize. There are no cities as such in the Midlands though some farms have grown large enough to resemble small towns. The most famous of these farms is the Linkton Farm in the North Midlands. Midlanders are shrewd traders and supply many of the countries surrounding them with goods. They are constantly in danger of bandit attack and each farm employs it’s own fighting force usually trained by a former soldier or elder militiaman. The Midlands also enjoy special protection from surrounding countries due to the nature of the land and the value of the people that work it as the Midlands provide nearly all the food for the surrounding countries. As stated before Midlanders are fiercely independent and do not take sides when nations go to war choosing instead to profit from supplying both armies with food and goods. Some Midland farmers are wealthier than the kings that buy their goods but due to the nature of the people of the Midlands one would never know it.
2: Ebresh
A tribe of hunters and warriors residing in the High North, the Ebresh are a dying race. They are the tallest of the tribes of men and men over seven feet tall are not uncommon. Ebresh men ten to wear well-trimmed beards while the women keep their hair in thick braids. A man’s beard is symbol of his authority and to have one’s beard shorn is a sign of deepest humiliation. For the women hair is much less important than having children according to the Ebresh a truly blessed woman will bear more than ten children, more than thirteen children is considered a sign of divine favor. The Ebresh are hunters and subsist by hunting and foraging in the northern forests they call home. They are great breeders of dogs and often cross their own fierce breeds with the massive wolves that share the forests with them. Typical Ebresh family society is man and usually two wives. One wife a man takes when he is young, in his early twenties is typical marrying age for young men, for women it is typically younger (15-19). When an Ebresh man is old (in his late 50’s to early 60’s) he takes another wife to comfort him in his old age and to assist the fist wife with the work. When an Ebresh man dies his possessions pass on to his second wife who is responsible for caring for his first wife until she dies. When only the second wife and the man’s children are left a brother of the dead man who has no second wife takes the widowed second wife of his brother to himself and raises the firstborn son of the dead man to take over the house which then passes to him upon marriage to his first wife at which point the cycle is repeated. The Ebresh share the High North with the vicious Shogar and are at constant war with them raiding back and forth and killing as they may. Both races have suffered greatly from the constant battle and now the Shogar have been pushed high into the tundra while the Ebresh live in scattered bands throughout the vast forest. The Ebresh are accomplished metal workers and craft marvelous coats of mail, swords spears and axes. They are the greatest archers and trackers in the realm and are often called upon by southern kingdoms to catch criminals or scout for military campaigns.
3: Easterns
The Easterns are shorter than both the Ebresh and the Midlanders and their skin ranges from dusky brown to bronze to nearly black. They are a sea people, builders of boats, navigators, shipwrights, fishermen and explorers. The people of Manslin are Easterns. Eastern families are typically small with three children being considered a large family. This is due to the fact that Easterns are great builders and the largest cities on the continent lie on the Eastern shore. Easterns are an urban people and consider the Ebresh to be barbaric and the Midlanders simple. They are typically a wealthy people taking pearls and coral from the sea and trading their wares for gems, gold and dry goods. Both men and women wear jewelry in the form of rings in the ears and nose as well as necklaces, bracelets and finger and toe rings. The men are frequently tattooed on their backs, forearms, and chests with images of the sea, sea creatures, or runes. Women wear their hair unbound in various styles and are often tattooed at the small of the back, ankles, wrists and around the navel. Easterns are great traders and convey goods up rivers and down coastlines to the farthest corners of the continents. Easterns ships are the largest and fastest on the water and the Shipping Guild closely regulates who and what is ferried about in them.
Note: Mansliners are sometimes considered a sub group of Easterns as they focus all their maritime efforts on fishing and do very little trading or exploring. They are by far the most insular of Easterns.
Podes:
Ran out of time.
More to come...
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Off World
Thanks for the encouraging and helpful replies to my last post. The Ahmzad are my dwarf type race and I have yet to figure out who side they are on and what special abilities they have. Right now they are a wild card race. If you've read the post "I gotz teh ideaz" or whatever messed up title I had for that post you'll know that Eldrick is a War Wizard and he was taken from his family at a young age to the Blackspire which is where War Wizards learn to be, well, themselves. It's on an island and is surrounded by a small fishing town.
My original idea was to have Eldrick return home to find that his family had been abducted by vampires for larder stocking purposes and that his younger sister had actually been turned. That idea has been shelved.
A while ago I wrote a couple of short stories titled "War Planes" about these plane jumping armies battling on hundreds of different worlds. I've combined a couple ideas (thanks Orson Scott Card) and now I have...
The Shogar are, in truth, trying to burst through Lorin's Gap into the Midlands (the breadbasket of Eldrick's homeland)(thanks Phil) they are not however raiding. They are being displaced by a rogue battalion of the Telek Army led by General Ian Gin (a name I used in a previous manuscript). No one believes the Shogar's land is being overrun because they are thought of as savages by the people of the South and mortal enemies of the people of the North, the Ebresh. In fact, the Ebresh have been fighting the Shogar for so long that they are actually dying out as a people due to decades of war.
The war wizards are called in to help save the Midlands from certain destruction at the hands of the giant Shogar. That is where Eldrick comes in. As a war wizard he is sent to the front only hours after being secretly married to a village girl named Niah who he has loved since arriving on the island as a child.
Thanks to the Eladii (think Tolkien's Elves but more exclusive and warlike)who arrive to assist their long time allies the Ebresh the Shogar are stopped and one of their head men, Golga, is captured and packaged to return to the Balckspire for questioning. Golga warns his captors about the Telek but to no avail.
Upon their return to the Blackspire the War Wizards find their fortress leveled and the town under the domination of a Telek Captain and the 3rd Mechanized Infantry. Most of the War Wizards are dead, some escaped to hidden lairs off the island. The majority of the townsfolk have been taken to various prison camps for transport off-world and the few that remain try to go about their business ignoring the roar of Telek Starstrikers overhead and the earth shaking rumble of Telek Destroyers as they search the ruins of the Blackspire for signs of survivors and powerful artifacts.
Eldrick and an Eladii he has befriended, Omeym, escapes discovery by a Telek patrol and suddenly Golga doesn't sound so crazy after all. Eldrick is sick with worry and is set on finding Niah before she is taken off-world. Omeym's people rarely leave their homeland in the far west and have magically barred the gates to their realm from the rest of the world. Only a small group of volunteers left Sol, City of the Sun to aid the Ebresh at Lorin's Gap and once the Shogar were stopped all of the Eladii returned home save Omeym as it was deemed necessary for him to stay to guard such a powerful being as Golga until he was secure in the Blackspire. Omeym chooses to help Eldrick and they loose Golga in order to increase their chances of escaping the Telek blockades and patrols.
Golga simply wants to kill all the Telek he can and return to his homeland to reclaim what is left of the High North and begin rebuilding what the Telek destroyed. He needs the support of the War Wizards in order to defeat the Telek, however, and he believes that Eldrick can help him gain what he needs.
More to come...
My original idea was to have Eldrick return home to find that his family had been abducted by vampires for larder stocking purposes and that his younger sister had actually been turned. That idea has been shelved.
A while ago I wrote a couple of short stories titled "War Planes" about these plane jumping armies battling on hundreds of different worlds. I've combined a couple ideas (thanks Orson Scott Card) and now I have...
The Shogar are, in truth, trying to burst through Lorin's Gap into the Midlands (the breadbasket of Eldrick's homeland)(thanks Phil) they are not however raiding. They are being displaced by a rogue battalion of the Telek Army led by General Ian Gin (a name I used in a previous manuscript). No one believes the Shogar's land is being overrun because they are thought of as savages by the people of the South and mortal enemies of the people of the North, the Ebresh. In fact, the Ebresh have been fighting the Shogar for so long that they are actually dying out as a people due to decades of war.
The war wizards are called in to help save the Midlands from certain destruction at the hands of the giant Shogar. That is where Eldrick comes in. As a war wizard he is sent to the front only hours after being secretly married to a village girl named Niah who he has loved since arriving on the island as a child.
Thanks to the Eladii (think Tolkien's Elves but more exclusive and warlike)who arrive to assist their long time allies the Ebresh the Shogar are stopped and one of their head men, Golga, is captured and packaged to return to the Balckspire for questioning. Golga warns his captors about the Telek but to no avail.
Upon their return to the Blackspire the War Wizards find their fortress leveled and the town under the domination of a Telek Captain and the 3rd Mechanized Infantry. Most of the War Wizards are dead, some escaped to hidden lairs off the island. The majority of the townsfolk have been taken to various prison camps for transport off-world and the few that remain try to go about their business ignoring the roar of Telek Starstrikers overhead and the earth shaking rumble of Telek Destroyers as they search the ruins of the Blackspire for signs of survivors and powerful artifacts.
Eldrick and an Eladii he has befriended, Omeym, escapes discovery by a Telek patrol and suddenly Golga doesn't sound so crazy after all. Eldrick is sick with worry and is set on finding Niah before she is taken off-world. Omeym's people rarely leave their homeland in the far west and have magically barred the gates to their realm from the rest of the world. Only a small group of volunteers left Sol, City of the Sun to aid the Ebresh at Lorin's Gap and once the Shogar were stopped all of the Eladii returned home save Omeym as it was deemed necessary for him to stay to guard such a powerful being as Golga until he was secure in the Blackspire. Omeym chooses to help Eldrick and they loose Golga in order to increase their chances of escaping the Telek blockades and patrols.
Golga simply wants to kill all the Telek he can and return to his homeland to reclaim what is left of the High North and begin rebuilding what the Telek destroyed. He needs the support of the War Wizards in order to defeat the Telek, however, and he believes that Eldrick can help him gain what he needs.
More to come...
Friday, November 30, 2007
Anew
Characters and Viewpoint by Orson Scott Card is a good book. Over Thanksgiving I was able to really sit down and read it and it was refreshing. I am going to try to finish it by New Year's Day so I can absorb the ideas and use them this summer when I begin writing again.
I have started working on some new stuff. Just a start.
Eldrick: A war wizard and the main character
Niah: Eldrick’s love. A resourceful, intelligent young woman.
Golga: A powerful Shogar Shaman captured during the battle at Lorin’s Gap.
Omeym el Erion: An Eladii Dragoon who befriends Eldrick at Lorin’s Gap.
General Ian Gin: An ambitious Telek General set on conquering Eldrick’s homeworld.
Rok: King of the Ahmzad.
Collin Kingshammer: Uncrowned King of the Ebresh.
Ebresh: A once powerful tribe of men now in decline due to constant war with the Shogar.
Eladii: Tall, powerful warriors attuned to nature and unmatched in physical combat. Not human.
Shogar: Massive half-giants locked in constant battle with the Ebresh and the Eladii.
Telek: Planes-Jumping, war-like people possessing advanced technology and a desire to conquer worlds.
Blackspire: The school of training for war wizards.
Midlands: The breadbasket of the civilized world.
Cloudtops: Mountains separating the Midlands from the High North.
Quicksteel: Living armor worn exclusively by Eladii Dragoons. The relationship between warrior and armor is symbiotic in nature.
Truesinger: An Eladii able to control the forces of Nature, particularly animals, by using an intricate chant or song.
I have started working on some new stuff. Just a start.
Eldrick: A war wizard and the main character
Niah: Eldrick’s love. A resourceful, intelligent young woman.
Golga: A powerful Shogar Shaman captured during the battle at Lorin’s Gap.
Omeym el Erion: An Eladii Dragoon who befriends Eldrick at Lorin’s Gap.
General Ian Gin: An ambitious Telek General set on conquering Eldrick’s homeworld.
Rok: King of the Ahmzad.
Collin Kingshammer: Uncrowned King of the Ebresh.
Ebresh: A once powerful tribe of men now in decline due to constant war with the Shogar.
Eladii: Tall, powerful warriors attuned to nature and unmatched in physical combat. Not human.
Shogar: Massive half-giants locked in constant battle with the Ebresh and the Eladii.
Telek: Planes-Jumping, war-like people possessing advanced technology and a desire to conquer worlds.
Blackspire: The school of training for war wizards.
Midlands: The breadbasket of the civilized world.
Cloudtops: Mountains separating the Midlands from the High North.
Quicksteel: Living armor worn exclusively by Eladii Dragoons. The relationship between warrior and armor is symbiotic in nature.
Truesinger: An Eladii able to control the forces of Nature, particularly animals, by using an intricate chant or song.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Stop Frontin
I'm tired of people QQing about how bad Christians are.
I'm tired of the generalities they make while at the same time patting each other on the back for their "tolerance" of others. If you're tolerant to homosexuals but think Christians in general are narrow minded idiots who are incredibly naive you're still just a much a bigot as the guy with the sign that reads, "I hate gays". Just because christian bashing is more socially acceptable than gay bashing doesn't make it right and it doesn't make you a champion of freedom and tolerance. It makes you just another bigot. Stop playin yourselves.
I'm sorry a pastor/deacon/Sunday school teacher you know/knew is/was a jackass. Lots of people are jackasses. Lots of jackasses go to church and some become pastors. Sorry, but stop QQing over it. Move on. If one person who happened to rise to a position of "power" in a church abused their authority and because of that you're "just not sure your a christian anymore" maybe your right. Maybe it's time to be honest and really examine what you believe is true.
Oh, and relativists, it's so easy to say that good and bad are relative until bad things start happening to you and/or your family. Then I bet you want those bad things to stop happening to you and yours, not "relatively bad things" unequivocally bad things. Nothing is relative, stop deluding yourselves into thinking that your reality is not your neighbor's reality because if your not careful, in the future,
whoever has the biggest gun will determine your reality for you.
"Jesus was a radical teacher who shook things up." Yeah and so was Lucifer, the first real revolutionary. Before him no one had ever thought of disobeying God, what a free-thinker. Be careful who you compare Jesus to or who you say is acting like Jesus.
The world is full of wonder and the world is full of crap. Let's try not to get the two confused.
I'm tired of the generalities they make while at the same time patting each other on the back for their "tolerance" of others. If you're tolerant to homosexuals but think Christians in general are narrow minded idiots who are incredibly naive you're still just a much a bigot as the guy with the sign that reads, "I hate gays". Just because christian bashing is more socially acceptable than gay bashing doesn't make it right and it doesn't make you a champion of freedom and tolerance. It makes you just another bigot. Stop playin yourselves.
I'm sorry a pastor/deacon/Sunday school teacher you know/knew is/was a jackass. Lots of people are jackasses. Lots of jackasses go to church and some become pastors. Sorry, but stop QQing over it. Move on. If one person who happened to rise to a position of "power" in a church abused their authority and because of that you're "just not sure your a christian anymore" maybe your right. Maybe it's time to be honest and really examine what you believe is true.
Oh, and relativists, it's so easy to say that good and bad are relative until bad things start happening to you and/or your family. Then I bet you want those bad things to stop happening to you and yours, not "relatively bad things" unequivocally bad things. Nothing is relative, stop deluding yourselves into thinking that your reality is not your neighbor's reality because if your not careful, in the future,
whoever has the biggest gun will determine your reality for you.
"Jesus was a radical teacher who shook things up." Yeah and so was Lucifer, the first real revolutionary. Before him no one had ever thought of disobeying God, what a free-thinker. Be careful who you compare Jesus to or who you say is acting like Jesus.
The world is full of wonder and the world is full of crap. Let's try not to get the two confused.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Arenas and other trivialities
It's 5 o'clock and you know what that means! Writin' time!
I have today off for Veteran's Day, so thank Veterans for all that you do/have done for our country.
Our arena team took a beating last week going 8-11 or some such debacle of a record. We got Rick-Rolled 3x in a row by 2 Resto Shammies, Shadow Priest, Lock and Rogue. Now let me tell ya (in case you don't know) Resto Shammies and Resto Druids are the worst, THE WORST I say. I would rather fight two pallies than two Resto Druids (or Shammies). Anyway, with all the cc fears the lock and sp were throwing about and the insane cross-healing from the shammies it was lights out, the rogue just had to clean up the stragglers.
Our group composition btw, is Pally, Holy Priest, Hunter, Warrior, Mage and Rogue. The new patch (2.3) should make us better because of the changes to hunters and rogues. However Pete tells me that Frost Mages are going to get nerfed, which stinks because he excels at playing his Frost Mage. He respecced to PoM-Pyro which is a tough build to use in 5v5's because you can't 2-Shot anyone. Everyone has 400+ resilience, ain't gonna happen.
Ah well, I don't tell anyone how to spec, that's personal preferance. (Look for 31/30 maces to rock the arenas next season).
Also, locks own everybody but me. That's not to say that I'm awesome or whatever, but Cloak of Shadows>Locks. Unfortunately as all-time-healer-locker-downer I don't get alot of shots at the NUMEROUS locks we fight every week cause I'm always kicking a priest in the behind or gouging a pally or druid in the eyes. Hopefully after the next patch our hunter can switch to all-time-healer-pwner and I can go on cloth-dps-annhilator duty. We'll see.
In RL the Lady Lancers have our first game Thursday at home. Sweet.
I'm gonna get some food. It was great to have a day off even though I did have to drive up to work for basketball practice.
later
I have today off for Veteran's Day, so thank Veterans for all that you do/have done for our country.
Our arena team took a beating last week going 8-11 or some such debacle of a record. We got Rick-Rolled 3x in a row by 2 Resto Shammies, Shadow Priest, Lock and Rogue. Now let me tell ya (in case you don't know) Resto Shammies and Resto Druids are the worst, THE WORST I say. I would rather fight two pallies than two Resto Druids (or Shammies). Anyway, with all the cc fears the lock and sp were throwing about and the insane cross-healing from the shammies it was lights out, the rogue just had to clean up the stragglers.
Our group composition btw, is Pally, Holy Priest, Hunter, Warrior, Mage and Rogue. The new patch (2.3) should make us better because of the changes to hunters and rogues. However Pete tells me that Frost Mages are going to get nerfed, which stinks because he excels at playing his Frost Mage. He respecced to PoM-Pyro which is a tough build to use in 5v5's because you can't 2-Shot anyone. Everyone has 400+ resilience, ain't gonna happen.
Ah well, I don't tell anyone how to spec, that's personal preferance. (Look for 31/30 maces to rock the arenas next season).
Also, locks own everybody but me. That's not to say that I'm awesome or whatever, but Cloak of Shadows>Locks. Unfortunately as all-time-healer-locker-downer I don't get alot of shots at the NUMEROUS locks we fight every week cause I'm always kicking a priest in the behind or gouging a pally or druid in the eyes. Hopefully after the next patch our hunter can switch to all-time-healer-pwner and I can go on cloth-dps-annhilator duty. We'll see.
In RL the Lady Lancers have our first game Thursday at home. Sweet.
I'm gonna get some food. It was great to have a day off even though I did have to drive up to work for basketball practice.
later
Thursday, October 25, 2007
My thoughts after pulling weeds in the garden.
I’ve seen the stars of heaven rise,
Over blissful days like these,
Beneath the glowing glory shine,
They bring me bleeding to my knees.
Thorns and thistles win the day,
And all the parasites rejoice,
My blood flows through the mouths of they,
Whose deafening roar comes without voice.
Over blissful days like these,
Beneath the glowing glory shine,
They bring me bleeding to my knees.
Thorns and thistles win the day,
And all the parasites rejoice,
My blood flows through the mouths of they,
Whose deafening roar comes without voice.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Squirrel Eggs
Yeah, I had my Algebra I class believing that squirrels laid tiny eggs and that the trees outside the school were full of them.
"Now go gather me some squirrel eggs children so that I may make a delicious squirrel egg breakfast, and be quick about it!"
Ah, the joys of teaching.
Also, I am tired. Just FYI. Get up at 5:30am-Schoolfrom7:15-3pmBasketball Practice til 6pm-home at around 7:15...ah twelve whole hours to myself. Wait, I need to sleep...bummer.
Gotta re-muclh the garden. Yeah, I do that these days. I re-mulch and paint and mow and haul and hammer and hang pictures and such. I'm afraid I'm becoming fairly domesticated.
I'll write more later, I gotta go climb a tree. I'm making omelettes tonight.
"Now go gather me some squirrel eggs children so that I may make a delicious squirrel egg breakfast, and be quick about it!"
Ah, the joys of teaching.
Also, I am tired. Just FYI. Get up at 5:30am-Schoolfrom7:15-3pmBasketball Practice til 6pm-home at around 7:15...ah twelve whole hours to myself. Wait, I need to sleep...bummer.
Gotta re-muclh the garden. Yeah, I do that these days. I re-mulch and paint and mow and haul and hammer and hang pictures and such. I'm afraid I'm becoming fairly domesticated.
I'll write more later, I gotta go climb a tree. I'm making omelettes tonight.
Monday, October 15, 2007
I gots teh ideaz
New story idea. You like? I like.
Eldrick looked out over the rolling hills of Honey Mead and smiled. He was almost home. It had been ten years since he had set off with the war wizards to begin his training in the Blackspire. How he had cried that day. He had been just a boy when the Searchers had come for him, just a boy when they pulled him from his mother’s arms and ferried him across the Gullway to Manslin and the dark tower that dominated the skyline of that humble fishing town. Master Collins brooked no nonsense, however, and soon after he arrived the tall wizard’s caused Eldrick to fall in line with the rest of the boys at the “Spire”.
For eight years he ate, drank and slept magic, pouring over ancient tomes and new treatises and theories with equal vigor. He learned quickly and would have been promoted to Head Boy had it not been for his temper. Eldrick took offense easily and was as quick with his tongue as he was with a spell. Several would be bullies had been temporarily blinded by a powerful hex or else frozen to their beds while they slept and had to be thawed out, a painful, slow, process.
He made few friends in the Blackspire, but on the scant feastdays and holidays the war wizards permitted their charges to celebrate he would go into town and explore. That is where he met Lia. She was a dark haired slip of a girl with the olive skin typical of all Mansliners. He had done simple tricks for her that made her squeal with delight, levitation here, a conjured spark dragon there were enough to keep Lia smiling and laughing for hours. For Eldrick she was a reminder of home, of his family in Honey Mead of his mother and sister laughing as they prepared supper, and of his father, wise and strong, threshing new cut wheat in the sun.
Every feastday was spent with Lia and as they grew so did their feelings for one another. Eight summers had transformed Eldrick from a pale, thin, boy to a handsome, fair-haired man and when Eldrick looked at Lia he no longer saw the skinny slip of a girl he had known as a child, but a slender brown-eyed beauty blossoming into womanhood. They pledged their undying love to one another one midsummer evening and made plans to be wed. The Mansliners were of the typical disposition toward wizards; they were fine as a fiddle as long as they stayed in their tower and left the good folk of the town alone. Lia’s parents were no exception and disapproved of here seeing the “wizard boy”. They were to marry in secret at the summer solstice under the sympathetic eyes of Acolyte Kinsmon, a cleric that Lia knew well.
It was not to be. The night of the wedding Eldrick was awakened by the bass of Master Collin’s magically augmented voice booming in his unsuspecting ear. He was to report to the Chamber of Travel immediately. War had broken out in the north. The savage Shogar had sacked the towns of Rilius and Sinster and were threatening to sweep south into the very heart of the Midlands. Only Collin Kingshammer, Lord of the Ebresh, and a small force of Eladii Dragoons were keeping the Shogar from pouring through Lorin’s Gap and putting all before them to the sword and flame.
Eldrick looked out over the rolling hills of Honey Mead and smiled. He was almost home. It had been ten years since he had set off with the war wizards to begin his training in the Blackspire. How he had cried that day. He had been just a boy when the Searchers had come for him, just a boy when they pulled him from his mother’s arms and ferried him across the Gullway to Manslin and the dark tower that dominated the skyline of that humble fishing town. Master Collins brooked no nonsense, however, and soon after he arrived the tall wizard’s caused Eldrick to fall in line with the rest of the boys at the “Spire”.
For eight years he ate, drank and slept magic, pouring over ancient tomes and new treatises and theories with equal vigor. He learned quickly and would have been promoted to Head Boy had it not been for his temper. Eldrick took offense easily and was as quick with his tongue as he was with a spell. Several would be bullies had been temporarily blinded by a powerful hex or else frozen to their beds while they slept and had to be thawed out, a painful, slow, process.
He made few friends in the Blackspire, but on the scant feastdays and holidays the war wizards permitted their charges to celebrate he would go into town and explore. That is where he met Lia. She was a dark haired slip of a girl with the olive skin typical of all Mansliners. He had done simple tricks for her that made her squeal with delight, levitation here, a conjured spark dragon there were enough to keep Lia smiling and laughing for hours. For Eldrick she was a reminder of home, of his family in Honey Mead of his mother and sister laughing as they prepared supper, and of his father, wise and strong, threshing new cut wheat in the sun.
Every feastday was spent with Lia and as they grew so did their feelings for one another. Eight summers had transformed Eldrick from a pale, thin, boy to a handsome, fair-haired man and when Eldrick looked at Lia he no longer saw the skinny slip of a girl he had known as a child, but a slender brown-eyed beauty blossoming into womanhood. They pledged their undying love to one another one midsummer evening and made plans to be wed. The Mansliners were of the typical disposition toward wizards; they were fine as a fiddle as long as they stayed in their tower and left the good folk of the town alone. Lia’s parents were no exception and disapproved of here seeing the “wizard boy”. They were to marry in secret at the summer solstice under the sympathetic eyes of Acolyte Kinsmon, a cleric that Lia knew well.
It was not to be. The night of the wedding Eldrick was awakened by the bass of Master Collin’s magically augmented voice booming in his unsuspecting ear. He was to report to the Chamber of Travel immediately. War had broken out in the north. The savage Shogar had sacked the towns of Rilius and Sinster and were threatening to sweep south into the very heart of the Midlands. Only Collin Kingshammer, Lord of the Ebresh, and a small force of Eladii Dragoons were keeping the Shogar from pouring through Lorin’s Gap and putting all before them to the sword and flame.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Been Paintin'
Yep, been paintin' the bedroom. Gonna paint the master "Sand" and the master bath "Tidewater". Nice. It's like the beach, without the seagulls pooping on you and trying to steal your fries.
Dear Alliance in Arathi Basin,
Stop capping the stables and then riding off to the Lumber Mill before it caps. That doesn't do anyone any good. Defend something. And for the love of gravy, kill the healers first. Yeah, you know that MS Warrior you can't kill? It's not his armor, it's the Resto Shaman behind him.
Sincerely,
L2P
Some of the kids at school were having trouble opening the combination locks on their lockers. I told them they weren't spinning them fast enough. "Remember children, the faster you spin them the more likely they are to open, so speed up!"
Just kidding I wouldn't do that...or would I?
GO BLUE! Is Michigan really making a comeback? Do Michigan and Florida currently have the same number of losses? Will Michigan win the Big 10? Maybe, yes and who knows. At least I feel some pride in the Wolverines. By the way, I don't think Mike Hart is hurt that bad. Look for him to continue to lead the Big 10 in rushing. Do I think U of M will win the Big 10? If Hart stays healthy and they continue to play like the only way they can redeem themselves is to win the conference I see them taking it. Besides, Russel Crowe is Lloyd Carr's BFF. How can they lose? They've got MAXIMUS!
"Are you not entertained?!"
Laugh,
Love,
Live,
Kidney Shot.
you never see it coming...
I took that "Which LotR character are you?" from Toby's blog. I got Legs...
'>http://
Dear Alliance in Arathi Basin,
Stop capping the stables and then riding off to the Lumber Mill before it caps. That doesn't do anyone any good. Defend something. And for the love of gravy, kill the healers first. Yeah, you know that MS Warrior you can't kill? It's not his armor, it's the Resto Shaman behind him.
Sincerely,
L2P
Some of the kids at school were having trouble opening the combination locks on their lockers. I told them they weren't spinning them fast enough. "Remember children, the faster you spin them the more likely they are to open, so speed up!"
Just kidding I wouldn't do that...or would I?
GO BLUE! Is Michigan really making a comeback? Do Michigan and Florida currently have the same number of losses? Will Michigan win the Big 10? Maybe, yes and who knows. At least I feel some pride in the Wolverines. By the way, I don't think Mike Hart is hurt that bad. Look for him to continue to lead the Big 10 in rushing. Do I think U of M will win the Big 10? If Hart stays healthy and they continue to play like the only way they can redeem themselves is to win the conference I see them taking it. Besides, Russel Crowe is Lloyd Carr's BFF. How can they lose? They've got MAXIMUS!
"Are you not entertained?!"
Laugh,
Love,
Live,
Kidney Shot.
you never see it coming...
I took that "Which LotR character are you?" from Toby's blog. I got Legs...
'>http://Monday, October 8, 2007
Mike, I do read your posts...all of them
Been out of cyberspace for a while. My mom had her 70th birthday party this last weekend. It was great to see my family. I'm glad all my brothers and sisters were able to come down to Florida.
In case you didn't know, my wife and I are expecting a baby boy in Feb. We are very excited.
I read a description of Robert Jordan's funeral and of his last hours online last week. It made me sadder than I thought I would be. I feel especially bad for Harriet, his wife. But I also feel bad that such an imagination, such an incredible creator and story teller has gone out of the world. I could never write like him, the scope and the detail of his work is overwhelming at times. I will miss him though. Even though we never met. Even though I'm pretty sure we never would have if he had lived. He had such gifts.
People continue to ask me about my book.
"How is it going?" they say. It's not. I get up at 9:30 and get home at 6:00. When I do get home I am (a) exhausted or (b) keeping up the yard and house. ( I have duties.) So no I have not been writing. I got the shimmer of an idea the other day and I wrote it down "A boy loses his parents."
That's it. But see, now I've got a problem to write around. I may begin writing in 1st person for a bit and see how that sounds. Just to shake things up a bit.
There was an awesome post of opening lines on the Absolute Write forums but I can't seem to find it. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=39&order=desc
Things are good. I'm just tired.
-Peas
In case you didn't know, my wife and I are expecting a baby boy in Feb. We are very excited.
I read a description of Robert Jordan's funeral and of his last hours online last week. It made me sadder than I thought I would be. I feel especially bad for Harriet, his wife. But I also feel bad that such an imagination, such an incredible creator and story teller has gone out of the world. I could never write like him, the scope and the detail of his work is overwhelming at times. I will miss him though. Even though we never met. Even though I'm pretty sure we never would have if he had lived. He had such gifts.
People continue to ask me about my book.
"How is it going?" they say. It's not. I get up at 9:30 and get home at 6:00. When I do get home I am (a) exhausted or (b) keeping up the yard and house. ( I have duties.) So no I have not been writing. I got the shimmer of an idea the other day and I wrote it down "A boy loses his parents."
That's it. But see, now I've got a problem to write around. I may begin writing in 1st person for a bit and see how that sounds. Just to shake things up a bit.
There was an awesome post of opening lines on the Absolute Write forums but I can't seem to find it. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=39&order=desc
Things are good. I'm just tired.
-Peas
Sunday, September 23, 2007
This Is How We Roll
Big things poppin' AND lil things stoppin'
Friday was an all-out conference fest at school. 8 hours of parent conferences. I am happy to say that no one was assaulted...not even verbally, which was kind of a bummer, but I digress. Tomorrow, our new floor is getting put in. Will I post pictures you ask, maybe!
Let me see, let me see, what else. Ah, so we've started weight training with the girls varsity team at school. The first few days we had to walk them through the workouts but now they pretty much do it themselves. Basically what that means is that while they are doing their thing, I get to lift, which is nice, and healthy. So I look hot now. (Pictures to come!!)
And, next Wednesday we find out if our baby is a boy or girl. Do I care? Good question! Not really, healthy is really all I care about. My wife thinks it's a girl which means it probably is a boy.
And also, I am going to be here for Christmas and New Years. Yeah, in Florida. My wife will be far to pregnant to travel and so we will not be going to Michigan for Christmas this year. I was talking to Dave on the phone and I remarked that I could not remember ever missing the Christmas get together. I always made part of it at least. So, think of me when you're wiping the board or throwing down that timely Holy Day.
Things are going really well. My beard is full and lush, my eyes, blue as the whale whose name they inspired, and my...well, you get the picture.
I am not handy. I don't really want to landscape my lawn or spread seeds around or build an addition to my lanai. Oh, but I will. I'm growing and changing every day. How bout you?
Friday was an all-out conference fest at school. 8 hours of parent conferences. I am happy to say that no one was assaulted...not even verbally, which was kind of a bummer, but I digress. Tomorrow, our new floor is getting put in. Will I post pictures you ask, maybe!
Let me see, let me see, what else. Ah, so we've started weight training with the girls varsity team at school. The first few days we had to walk them through the workouts but now they pretty much do it themselves. Basically what that means is that while they are doing their thing, I get to lift, which is nice, and healthy. So I look hot now. (Pictures to come!!)
And, next Wednesday we find out if our baby is a boy or girl. Do I care? Good question! Not really, healthy is really all I care about. My wife thinks it's a girl which means it probably is a boy.
And also, I am going to be here for Christmas and New Years. Yeah, in Florida. My wife will be far to pregnant to travel and so we will not be going to Michigan for Christmas this year. I was talking to Dave on the phone and I remarked that I could not remember ever missing the Christmas get together. I always made part of it at least. So, think of me when you're wiping the board or throwing down that timely Holy Day.
Things are going really well. My beard is full and lush, my eyes, blue as the whale whose name they inspired, and my...well, you get the picture.
I am not handy. I don't really want to landscape my lawn or spread seeds around or build an addition to my lanai. Oh, but I will. I'm growing and changing every day. How bout you?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Reflections on the AuSable or My Brain as a Trout Stream
Cool and clear
Like a swift stream
That’s the way the mind flows
Bubbles and gurgles and shallow waves
Thoughts bob by in a spray of foam
Floating and spinning
Whirling and rocking
Fuzzy ideas follow feathered flashes
Like a mallard’s ducklings
While the shiny thoughts
The brook trout thoughts
Swish their dappled tales and rise
Only occasionally to the surface
For a brief splash in the sunlight
Then back to the deep holes
The dark holes where the big ideas live
Someday I’ll catch me a big idea
Like a swift stream
That’s the way the mind flows
Bubbles and gurgles and shallow waves
Thoughts bob by in a spray of foam
Floating and spinning
Whirling and rocking
Fuzzy ideas follow feathered flashes
Like a mallard’s ducklings
While the shiny thoughts
The brook trout thoughts
Swish their dappled tales and rise
Only occasionally to the surface
For a brief splash in the sunlight
Then back to the deep holes
The dark holes where the big ideas live
Someday I’ll catch me a big idea
Changing Clothes
I was physically shaking when I approached my brother's casket. I was in the back of the procession. We were coming up through the church basement and I stopped in my tracks. My wife tried to gently pull me forward up the stairs and into the sanctuary. I just stood there and shook my head. I was terrified. I wouldn't move. After about thirty seconds I started walking again and we moved up out of the dark stairway into the narthax and then through the doors into the sanctuary. I could see my brother's body from a distance but as I neared the casket the strangest thing happened.
I felt relieved and a little confused. The body in the casket looked nothing like my brother did in life. It was ludicrous. I smirked. I looked around as if to say, "Who is this in my brother's casket?" For sure, there was some resemblance to the man I knew and love and certainly it had to be his body, but without his spirit, the thing that is Dan and that will always be Dan, it was simply a form. I was relived because I knew that my brother was not there anymore.
At the cemetery I was not sad when they lowered the casket into the ground(I could barely stand I was so sick) because I knew that my brother was not in that box. I had seen his form, the thing that housed him for 25 years, but I could not see him. No matter how hard I stared, no matter how long I looked at that body I could not see him and I was relieved because I knew he had gone.
I felt relieved and a little confused. The body in the casket looked nothing like my brother did in life. It was ludicrous. I smirked. I looked around as if to say, "Who is this in my brother's casket?" For sure, there was some resemblance to the man I knew and love and certainly it had to be his body, but without his spirit, the thing that is Dan and that will always be Dan, it was simply a form. I was relived because I knew that my brother was not there anymore.
At the cemetery I was not sad when they lowered the casket into the ground(I could barely stand I was so sick) because I knew that my brother was not in that box. I had seen his form, the thing that housed him for 25 years, but I could not see him. No matter how hard I stared, no matter how long I looked at that body I could not see him and I was relieved because I knew he had gone.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
U of M Debacle and Other News
First let me say that the University of Michigan has really done every fan and everyone who watched the game today a diservice. I only hope that through this lowest point in the school's football history the Wolverines can grow stronger. That aside, the Wolverines have definitely made my weekend in Miami less enjoyable.
Being the ONLY fan of Michigan sports among my inlaws I am harrassed everytime the Wolverines, Lions, Pistons, Tigers, Red Wings or sometimes even the Shock, lose a game. But the worst, the absolute worst is when a team, most notably the Pistons and Wolverines, is perpetually in the hunt for a championship. Pistons vs. Heat in the playoffs can get down right nasty. Thank goodness the USA just beat Puerto Rico in the FIBA World Championship, a loss there might have been unbearable.
So far this weekend has been pretty relaxing. Today (Sunday) we are having some kind of party in the afternoon. Should be fun.
I need to go grade some schoolwork. I'm trying to get everything caught up before school begins again on Tuesday.
I'll write more later.
Being the ONLY fan of Michigan sports among my inlaws I am harrassed everytime the Wolverines, Lions, Pistons, Tigers, Red Wings or sometimes even the Shock, lose a game. But the worst, the absolute worst is when a team, most notably the Pistons and Wolverines, is perpetually in the hunt for a championship. Pistons vs. Heat in the playoffs can get down right nasty. Thank goodness the USA just beat Puerto Rico in the FIBA World Championship, a loss there might have been unbearable.
So far this weekend has been pretty relaxing. Today (Sunday) we are having some kind of party in the afternoon. Should be fun.
I need to go grade some schoolwork. I'm trying to get everything caught up before school begins again on Tuesday.
I'll write more later.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Noodles and Pot Pies
On the basketball court I was a totally different person. That rectangle of wood or blacktop or even carpet was a different world, a world that shunned the manners and customs of polite society and rewarded the brash and confident. I talked a lot, we all did, but there was always that unspoken rule, “Don’t talk trash if you can’t back it up.” One summer night in the early 2k’s I got to see first hand why that unspoken rule is so important.
We always showed up as a team when we went to the local park, at least enough so we only had to pick up one or two, two at the most. We could carry two. My roommate Brian played post which was odd because I was at least two inches taller than his 5’11”. But he was tough. He never played ball in high school because wrestling season and basketball season overlapped and he was first string at 189lbs.
It was mid-summer in Grand Rapids and we showed up at around 7 at the park near the house we were staying in at the time. The community was very mixed, very diverse. The housing was lower income and the ethnicity seemed to change by street. Our street was white at one end and Mexican at the other. The street over from ours was largely black and so the pattern continued with a mix of whites, Hispanics and blacks on the streets stretching north and south away from ours for several blocks. Anyway, we got to the park a little bit late and two teams were already running but the wait was not that long. We were standing behind a chain link fence under one of the baskets when this kid gets a fast break straight toward us and the unguarded basket.
Brian yells, “Dunk it!” right as the kid enters the lane and does a handy little lay-up over the front of the rim. Brian continued to jab the kid for his lay-up, “I thought you were gonna dunk it.”
“ I’ll dunk on you,” the kid shot back.
Now the kid had some decent size probably 6’2” or 6’3” and not skinny, but Brian had backed down and bodied much bigger players than the “lay-up kid” since I had started playing with him and he immediately took offense to the kid’s tone.
“We got next,” he yelled pacing down the fence line toward the kid who was now retreating down court to play defense as the opposing team brought up the ball, “and I got him!” his arm was completely outstretched, finger jabbing at the kid, his body taught as if his index finger was iron ore and the “lay-up kid” a colossal, freckled magnet.
Much to Brian’s delight the “lay-up kid’s” team won the game and our team piled out onto the court. I shot for ball and missed. (Hey it was double rims, you know how they are.) We jogged down the court and turned waiting for the other team. The “lay-up kid” looked focused as he brought the ball over mid court and straight at Brian who was waiting for him at the basket. The kid jumped from the right block and reached for the rim, the ball cradled in his outstretched arm. He didn’t quite make it. Brian came flying from his right side and threw him down. Now, I say “threw him down” as opposed to “threw it down” because Brian didn’t just block the ball. No, he put his hand on the ball and threw both it and the “lay-up kid” to the hot asphalt.
“I thought you said you were going to dunk on me punk!” Brian had picked up the ball by then and stood screaming over the “lay-up kid” who was curled in the fetal position under the bucket.
I couldn’t help but grin, but my smile turned to confused brow-wrinkles as the “lay-up kid” lay there and whimpered, “Why’d you do that? Why do you gotta be so mean? Leave me alone. Ow, that hurt.”
We really didn’t know what to say. Everyone on the court just kind of looked at him. Normally, if you get thrown down you get up and get back in the game if you can. Maybe you scream a little at the guy who blocked you to the ground, get in his face, threaten him a little because let’s face it no one wants that to happen to them. All physical danger aside it’s one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to you on the court. We didn’t know whether to laugh or get a broom so we could push him to the side and keep playing. After a few more agonizing seconds he got up, and to his credit, finished out the game, though he was never a factor and we handily beat his team. After that game we never saw the “lay-up kid” again. I guess someone should have spoken to him about that all-important unspoken rule.
We always showed up as a team when we went to the local park, at least enough so we only had to pick up one or two, two at the most. We could carry two. My roommate Brian played post which was odd because I was at least two inches taller than his 5’11”. But he was tough. He never played ball in high school because wrestling season and basketball season overlapped and he was first string at 189lbs.
It was mid-summer in Grand Rapids and we showed up at around 7 at the park near the house we were staying in at the time. The community was very mixed, very diverse. The housing was lower income and the ethnicity seemed to change by street. Our street was white at one end and Mexican at the other. The street over from ours was largely black and so the pattern continued with a mix of whites, Hispanics and blacks on the streets stretching north and south away from ours for several blocks. Anyway, we got to the park a little bit late and two teams were already running but the wait was not that long. We were standing behind a chain link fence under one of the baskets when this kid gets a fast break straight toward us and the unguarded basket.
Brian yells, “Dunk it!” right as the kid enters the lane and does a handy little lay-up over the front of the rim. Brian continued to jab the kid for his lay-up, “I thought you were gonna dunk it.”
“ I’ll dunk on you,” the kid shot back.
Now the kid had some decent size probably 6’2” or 6’3” and not skinny, but Brian had backed down and bodied much bigger players than the “lay-up kid” since I had started playing with him and he immediately took offense to the kid’s tone.
“We got next,” he yelled pacing down the fence line toward the kid who was now retreating down court to play defense as the opposing team brought up the ball, “and I got him!” his arm was completely outstretched, finger jabbing at the kid, his body taught as if his index finger was iron ore and the “lay-up kid” a colossal, freckled magnet.
Much to Brian’s delight the “lay-up kid’s” team won the game and our team piled out onto the court. I shot for ball and missed. (Hey it was double rims, you know how they are.) We jogged down the court and turned waiting for the other team. The “lay-up kid” looked focused as he brought the ball over mid court and straight at Brian who was waiting for him at the basket. The kid jumped from the right block and reached for the rim, the ball cradled in his outstretched arm. He didn’t quite make it. Brian came flying from his right side and threw him down. Now, I say “threw him down” as opposed to “threw it down” because Brian didn’t just block the ball. No, he put his hand on the ball and threw both it and the “lay-up kid” to the hot asphalt.
“I thought you said you were going to dunk on me punk!” Brian had picked up the ball by then and stood screaming over the “lay-up kid” who was curled in the fetal position under the bucket.
I couldn’t help but grin, but my smile turned to confused brow-wrinkles as the “lay-up kid” lay there and whimpered, “Why’d you do that? Why do you gotta be so mean? Leave me alone. Ow, that hurt.”
We really didn’t know what to say. Everyone on the court just kind of looked at him. Normally, if you get thrown down you get up and get back in the game if you can. Maybe you scream a little at the guy who blocked you to the ground, get in his face, threaten him a little because let’s face it no one wants that to happen to them. All physical danger aside it’s one of the most embarrassing things that can happen to you on the court. We didn’t know whether to laugh or get a broom so we could push him to the side and keep playing. After a few more agonizing seconds he got up, and to his credit, finished out the game, though he was never a factor and we handily beat his team. After that game we never saw the “lay-up kid” again. I guess someone should have spoken to him about that all-important unspoken rule.
Here's How It Went Down
So, I'm back teaching again, but not at the school I had mentioned earlier. The school at which I am currently teaching is a christian school, however the pay and benefits are better than what the public school currently offers, at least in my case.
I thought my chances of teaching at the school were nil since I had sent my resume' in twice and both times it was rejected due to lack of positions available. I thought God was saying "no" but it turns out he just wanted me to wait. Right about the time when I stopped blogging anything longer than a sentence I got a call from the Upper School principal to come in for a middle school math interview. After meeting with the principal and the headmaster I was offered the job which I snapped up.
Pros:
1-I had already committed to helping my friend John coach the varsity girls basketball team at said school, so working there helps us plan.
2-Competetive pay-No christian school I had interviewed at before could touch what the current school offered.
3-Small class sizes-yes, all my classes except one are the in the teens for numbers ( i have one with 8 kids in it) so no more 30 kid classes.
4-Sweet Nike hook ups through the Assistant Athletic Director (who used to work at Nike and tried out with the Houston Rockets before injuring himself and losing his shot at being drafted)
5-The peeps there seem cool and genuine which is a big plus to me.
6-My friend John is there so we can "cut-up" alot.
7-They gave me a new laptop.
Cons:
1-The school day starts early and runs late. (7:15-4pm) The students leave @3 which gives the teachers an hour after school. I guess I'll take advantage and never bring work home.
2-I am teaching Math, albeit middle school Math so no big deal. (I'm just more of an English, History, Science...well anything but math...guy.) I've looked through the curriculum, so far, so good.
3-I've heard the parents can be a pain which will be new for me because in my last 4 years of teaching the parents were largely non-existent.
4-I am currently teaching 5 periods of Math, 1 period of PE, assisting with the girl's varsity basketball team, and doing chapel anouncements/speaker introductions. (Alot of work for my first year at the school and learning their system. Can you say burn-out?)
In other news, it is hot. I hate August because all you do is sweat unless you are indoors. Oh, and it rains every day and sauna's things up nicely.
I saw an alligator the other day near my mom's Florida residence. Having not grown up around them I think they are cool. Locals probably think I'm weird the way I thought city missionaries were weird when they asked my dad and me to take them down some trails near our house in Roscommon so they could see some deer. We didn't see any but they enjoyed the wilderness of the Roscommon village limits.
I have gummi bears and I'm starting to think they are my favorite candy...seriously.
http://megaman2box.ytmnd.com/
-Peace
I thought my chances of teaching at the school were nil since I had sent my resume' in twice and both times it was rejected due to lack of positions available. I thought God was saying "no" but it turns out he just wanted me to wait. Right about the time when I stopped blogging anything longer than a sentence I got a call from the Upper School principal to come in for a middle school math interview. After meeting with the principal and the headmaster I was offered the job which I snapped up.
Pros:
1-I had already committed to helping my friend John coach the varsity girls basketball team at said school, so working there helps us plan.
2-Competetive pay-No christian school I had interviewed at before could touch what the current school offered.
3-Small class sizes-yes, all my classes except one are the in the teens for numbers ( i have one with 8 kids in it) so no more 30 kid classes.
4-Sweet Nike hook ups through the Assistant Athletic Director (who used to work at Nike and tried out with the Houston Rockets before injuring himself and losing his shot at being drafted)
5-The peeps there seem cool and genuine which is a big plus to me.
6-My friend John is there so we can "cut-up" alot.
7-They gave me a new laptop.
Cons:
1-The school day starts early and runs late. (7:15-4pm) The students leave @3 which gives the teachers an hour after school. I guess I'll take advantage and never bring work home.
2-I am teaching Math, albeit middle school Math so no big deal. (I'm just more of an English, History, Science...well anything but math...guy.) I've looked through the curriculum, so far, so good.
3-I've heard the parents can be a pain which will be new for me because in my last 4 years of teaching the parents were largely non-existent.
4-I am currently teaching 5 periods of Math, 1 period of PE, assisting with the girl's varsity basketball team, and doing chapel anouncements/speaker introductions. (Alot of work for my first year at the school and learning their system. Can you say burn-out?)
In other news, it is hot. I hate August because all you do is sweat unless you are indoors. Oh, and it rains every day and sauna's things up nicely.
I saw an alligator the other day near my mom's Florida residence. Having not grown up around them I think they are cool. Locals probably think I'm weird the way I thought city missionaries were weird when they asked my dad and me to take them down some trails near our house in Roscommon so they could see some deer. We didn't see any but they enjoyed the wilderness of the Roscommon village limits.
I have gummi bears and I'm starting to think they are my favorite candy...seriously.
http://megaman2box.ytmnd.com/
-Peace
Friday, August 10, 2007
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Comics, Azeroth Style
Yes it's WoW the comic book http://www.dccomics.com/dcunlimited/wow/?action=the_comic_art and it looks pretty good so far. I got the Troll Shaman and the Gnome on his Mechanostrider. Click the link to check out the rest of the artistry.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Jobs
I will not be going back to the school I was teaching at last year. My feelings are mixed. Teaching is not my passion. It just seemed logical for me that with my background working with kids at the Children's Home and my degree in English (not even English ed., nice degree right) that teaching was available and left me alot of time to work on my manuscript. For four years I taught. It was public school, some schools were better than others, but now I find myself at a crossroads. Here is where I take a turn.
Job A is working at a christian school teaching PE a couple of academic classes coaching the basketball team and taking a 10k paycut. I'd be "in the ministry" so to speak or "full time christian service" whateverthatmeanscauseshouldn'twebedoingthatanywayinourdailylives?
Job B is a writing job. I would be a business porposal writer at an office situated directly across from St. Pete Beach and I would be able to wear shorts and sandals to work. It is not a paycut and may, in fact, be a pay raise. It is something new, something that will help me become more disciplined in my writing perhaps and offers all the perks of a regualr job (401k, etc.).
Tomorrow I meet with the pastor of the christian school. That job is pretty much mine if I want it. Job A that is.
Job B requires another interview than the initial phone interview I had with a contracted recruiter.
Thoughts?
I have been editing my manuscript and I am working on some new plot lines and have eliminated all members of the Jade Council but 1, Preston. They were unecessary and now the story reads a bit cleaner. I just have to work out all the holes I created by moving them out but I have enough characters in the manuscript that I can assign their roles away without much trouble.
Job A is working at a christian school teaching PE a couple of academic classes coaching the basketball team and taking a 10k paycut. I'd be "in the ministry" so to speak or "full time christian service" whateverthatmeanscauseshouldn'twebedoingthatanywayinourdailylives?
Job B is a writing job. I would be a business porposal writer at an office situated directly across from St. Pete Beach and I would be able to wear shorts and sandals to work. It is not a paycut and may, in fact, be a pay raise. It is something new, something that will help me become more disciplined in my writing perhaps and offers all the perks of a regualr job (401k, etc.).
Tomorrow I meet with the pastor of the christian school. That job is pretty much mine if I want it. Job A that is.
Job B requires another interview than the initial phone interview I had with a contracted recruiter.
Thoughts?
I have been editing my manuscript and I am working on some new plot lines and have eliminated all members of the Jade Council but 1, Preston. They were unecessary and now the story reads a bit cleaner. I just have to work out all the holes I created by moving them out but I have enough characters in the manuscript that I can assign their roles away without much trouble.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Children of Hurin
Finished it on the way back from Michigan and the proceeding two days. Good book, better than I thought it would be. It could be very easily made into a movie...and it should be. I had already read it in the Silmarillion but this version (as Phil mentioned) was more detailed and longer (and better).
Deep Summer
We are now in a time known as "deep summer." It's the time of year after the 4th of July but before the kids go back to school. Deep summer, the time of year when you wish you were outside when you're inside and when you're outside you wish you were sitting on a block of ice.
So Jay's "post you dork" comment really got me motivated. Actually I have felt the need to post for a while but...yeah you guessed it...I've been busy editing my book. I've been tearing out huge chunks and adding in more exciting more pertinent to the story type information. Yesterday I just went through and asked myself, "What is the point of this paragraph? Does it add anything important to the story or is it just fluff?" Thus the chunk tearing.
Today I will continue to make modifications to the Jade Council, changing the members perhaps. The Jade Throne is now the Jade Crown (or High Lord's Crown) and each member of the council has a stone that fits into the crown and when all the stones are socketed, wahlla..."
In other news Blue Laser went 5-5 in the arena this week and we're hoping that Cheat Commandos can give us at least a 1600 rating...at least...in the 3v3 bracket. People continue to ask if Nassae is ever going to get on and arena with us again and I have to tell them I simply don't know. It is only about an hour/hour and a half of your time per week...I'm just saying.
I went to a job interview for a position at a christian school and to make a long story short 25k per year and my wife has to wear skirts everywhere she goes. I'm still thinking about it. No, no I'm not. There were other stipulations as well, plus it's nearly 50 miles away from my home.
Well, no doubt I have more job applications to fill out and I need to do dishes and get some more editing done.
I finished Genesis yesterday and got 15 chapters into Exodus this morning. Yep, that's me, grow, grow, grow.
Steve's coming over this weekend so we'll see what kind of shennanigans we get into.
So Jay's "post you dork" comment really got me motivated. Actually I have felt the need to post for a while but...yeah you guessed it...I've been busy editing my book. I've been tearing out huge chunks and adding in more exciting more pertinent to the story type information. Yesterday I just went through and asked myself, "What is the point of this paragraph? Does it add anything important to the story or is it just fluff?" Thus the chunk tearing.
Today I will continue to make modifications to the Jade Council, changing the members perhaps. The Jade Throne is now the Jade Crown (or High Lord's Crown) and each member of the council has a stone that fits into the crown and when all the stones are socketed, wahlla..."
In other news Blue Laser went 5-5 in the arena this week and we're hoping that Cheat Commandos can give us at least a 1600 rating...at least...in the 3v3 bracket. People continue to ask if Nassae is ever going to get on and arena with us again and I have to tell them I simply don't know. It is only about an hour/hour and a half of your time per week...I'm just saying.
I went to a job interview for a position at a christian school and to make a long story short 25k per year and my wife has to wear skirts everywhere she goes. I'm still thinking about it. No, no I'm not. There were other stipulations as well, plus it's nearly 50 miles away from my home.
Well, no doubt I have more job applications to fill out and I need to do dishes and get some more editing done.
I finished Genesis yesterday and got 15 chapters into Exodus this morning. Yep, that's me, grow, grow, grow.
Steve's coming over this weekend so we'll see what kind of shennanigans we get into.
Sorry to all you who have the old manuscript, the story is a'changin' but in good ways. It's just gonna be somewhat different from what you have...maybe alot different.
That pic is from when my niece and I stepped on one of those National Geographic pressure plate/tripwire nighttime cameras as we were crossing a major thoroughfare at Disney. I'm told we are going to be featured in an upcoming article, "Nocturnal Creatures of the Theme Park".
Sweet.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Vacation
Yes, it's that time of year again. Our annual trip to Michigan is upon us and we are headed out to Detroit tonight. After staying there a night it's off to my nephew Zack's wedding in Indiana and then up to my mom's in Fenwick for Sunday morning. Sunday afternoon we're headed up to Petosky to see Phil and maybe others? Anyway we'll be there until Tuesday morning when we head back down to my mom's for our 4th of July get together and the rest of the week, I will update the blog whenever I can. (Which probably means when I get back.)
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Truth
And one of the scribes came, and having heard them reasoning together, and perceiving that he had answered them well, asked him, Which is the first commandment of all?
29
And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is,
Hear, O Israel;
The Lord our God is one Lord:
30
and thou shalt love the Lord thy God
with all thy heart, and with all thy soul,
and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: Deut. 6.4, 5
this is the first commandment.
31
And the second is like, namely this,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Lev. 19.18
There is none other commandment greater than these.
29
And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is,
Hear, O Israel;
The Lord our God is one Lord:
30
and thou shalt love the Lord thy God
with all thy heart, and with all thy soul,
and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: Deut. 6.4, 5
this is the first commandment.
31
And the second is like, namely this,
Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Lev. 19.18
There is none other commandment greater than these.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
War
Battlefield: 21 Days on the Empire's Edge
I just finished watching the end of it. It's a documentary on the war in Iraq. One of the interviewers was an Iraqi man who had fought against Hussein's faction and fled to America. He was returning home after many years to see his family. The other interviewer was a woman who I didn't learn that much about, but her translator was also a woman, an Iraqi woman. Having the two viewpoints gave the film more perspective.
I liked the film because the news we get here in America is so sketchy, and by sketchy I mean biased and skewed. I like to hear the soldiers talk and I like to hear the Iraqi people talk. Politicians and foreign correspondents I can do without.
I am not going to transcribe the entire film but one scene especially stood out to me.
A large group of Iraqi men are gathered around the camera and they are stating their various grievences (as any person whose homeland is being ravaged by war would) and one man states, "There is one god, and America is the enemy of Islam." This then becomes a chant accompanied by clapping and shouting. The camera pans back and there are American soldiers standing nearby on picket duty. They're interested in the crowd, but not nearly as interested as I bet they would be if they had subtitles popping up in their goggles like I did on my tv screen.
Pull out of Iraq? Don't pull out of Iraq? America will be fighting the war on terror, somewhere, long after I am dead and buried. "There is one god and America is the enemy of Islam." We can pull out of Iraq, but we will be fighting somewhere else soon after and it will be worse.
I grieve for the loss of life, both American and Iraqi, that the war has caused. I read the names of the soldiers who have died, ninety percent of whom are younger than I am, and I think of their families, their mothers and wives and kids.
I honor our men and women in the military for making the ultimate sacrifice. They bleed for us. They go out to fight so the enemy does not come in again and kill thousands more innocents.
Iraq or Illinois, where would we rather the war take place? The fighting will continue, one place or another. The question is, would pulling out of Iraq make an already bad situtation worse?
I just finished watching the end of it. It's a documentary on the war in Iraq. One of the interviewers was an Iraqi man who had fought against Hussein's faction and fled to America. He was returning home after many years to see his family. The other interviewer was a woman who I didn't learn that much about, but her translator was also a woman, an Iraqi woman. Having the two viewpoints gave the film more perspective.
I liked the film because the news we get here in America is so sketchy, and by sketchy I mean biased and skewed. I like to hear the soldiers talk and I like to hear the Iraqi people talk. Politicians and foreign correspondents I can do without.
I am not going to transcribe the entire film but one scene especially stood out to me.
A large group of Iraqi men are gathered around the camera and they are stating their various grievences (as any person whose homeland is being ravaged by war would) and one man states, "There is one god, and America is the enemy of Islam." This then becomes a chant accompanied by clapping and shouting. The camera pans back and there are American soldiers standing nearby on picket duty. They're interested in the crowd, but not nearly as interested as I bet they would be if they had subtitles popping up in their goggles like I did on my tv screen.
Pull out of Iraq? Don't pull out of Iraq? America will be fighting the war on terror, somewhere, long after I am dead and buried. "There is one god and America is the enemy of Islam." We can pull out of Iraq, but we will be fighting somewhere else soon after and it will be worse.
I grieve for the loss of life, both American and Iraqi, that the war has caused. I read the names of the soldiers who have died, ninety percent of whom are younger than I am, and I think of their families, their mothers and wives and kids.
I honor our men and women in the military for making the ultimate sacrifice. They bleed for us. They go out to fight so the enemy does not come in again and kill thousands more innocents.
Iraq or Illinois, where would we rather the war take place? The fighting will continue, one place or another. The question is, would pulling out of Iraq make an already bad situtation worse?
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
meh
Love that word "meh" it so full of emotions. Not the kind of emotions that make you cry or laugh or fall in love, the kind of emotions that make you want to stay in bed all day, the kind of emotions that come in to play when you drop a grilled cheese sandwich on the kitchen floor and pick it up and eat it anyway. That's "meh" that's what I'm talking about. It's kind of like "oh well" but really that doesn't even come close to encompassing all that is "meh". "Oh well" is resigned and singular, "meh" on the other hand can be the most defiant word spoken at the table or an off handed remark made after you spilled water on the crotch of your khakis. "Meh" is mostly about perspective and strength not nessecarily resignation or apathy. Example:
Guy 1-"Hey man, it's too bad that you broke up with Jill."
Mike S.-"Meh."
Guy 1-"Yeah, you're right."
Yeah, I know where my manuscript needs a fixin'. I already added a "tense" scene between Jan and Marli that I hope shows a real conflict. I am working on removing the Ahmzad completely from the the manuscript (so those of you who got a glimpse of that hardy and taciturn race consider yourselves lucky). P.S. you're not supposed to like Jan at the beginning, he's not good, has no redeeming qualities. Haven't we all met people like that? Um, grammar I understand. Not enough commas too many periods. I get it, easy to fix. Ah, I need to rework some of the betrayal elements as far as Cyrus and Sophia go. Cyrus is getting a new scene. I'm going to be cutting alot of the "nice to know" travelogue stuff and adding more dialog between characters. I'm going to try to give the world a little better sense of time. That's something I really want to get into in the next book.
Reoccuring characters that don't do much. Well, since this is a trilogy I hope to be able to work everyone in. Yeah, I know I introduced alot of people in the first manuscript but I kill a few of them off too, eh? Ellis Drake and his father I need to work out something there regarding their feud. Also Lars Buldin, I just kinda introduced him and then killed him in the Transformation Experiment. Lord Mobus, need to expand his character quite a bit.
The Jade Throne I am stuck on. I have to be honest. My description of this chair and reason for it to be in the manuscript is murky at best. Its use is even murkier. I really have to get something hammered out. Something solid. It's in the finale of the book and is an instrument in the destruction of a Council Member. I think I'll need to make it a religious artifact. But there has to be a better explained key to unlocking its power.
Overall I feel the manuscript is missing something. Thus the scores from the contest judges. I think they were acurate. Polish? More hutspah? The kaibosh?! I'm not at the level I want to be at yet. I know, it'll come. That's what they all say and they're probably right. It takes alot of time though. Anyone out there who wants to write a book, particularly a novel. Unless you can give all your time to it be prepared. Life keeps getting in my way.
Meh.
Guy 1-"Hey man, it's too bad that you broke up with Jill."
Mike S.-"Meh."
Guy 1-"Yeah, you're right."
Yeah, I know where my manuscript needs a fixin'. I already added a "tense" scene between Jan and Marli that I hope shows a real conflict. I am working on removing the Ahmzad completely from the the manuscript (so those of you who got a glimpse of that hardy and taciturn race consider yourselves lucky). P.S. you're not supposed to like Jan at the beginning, he's not good, has no redeeming qualities. Haven't we all met people like that? Um, grammar I understand. Not enough commas too many periods. I get it, easy to fix. Ah, I need to rework some of the betrayal elements as far as Cyrus and Sophia go. Cyrus is getting a new scene. I'm going to be cutting alot of the "nice to know" travelogue stuff and adding more dialog between characters. I'm going to try to give the world a little better sense of time. That's something I really want to get into in the next book.
Reoccuring characters that don't do much. Well, since this is a trilogy I hope to be able to work everyone in. Yeah, I know I introduced alot of people in the first manuscript but I kill a few of them off too, eh? Ellis Drake and his father I need to work out something there regarding their feud. Also Lars Buldin, I just kinda introduced him and then killed him in the Transformation Experiment. Lord Mobus, need to expand his character quite a bit.
The Jade Throne I am stuck on. I have to be honest. My description of this chair and reason for it to be in the manuscript is murky at best. Its use is even murkier. I really have to get something hammered out. Something solid. It's in the finale of the book and is an instrument in the destruction of a Council Member. I think I'll need to make it a religious artifact. But there has to be a better explained key to unlocking its power.
Overall I feel the manuscript is missing something. Thus the scores from the contest judges. I think they were acurate. Polish? More hutspah? The kaibosh?! I'm not at the level I want to be at yet. I know, it'll come. That's what they all say and they're probably right. It takes alot of time though. Anyone out there who wants to write a book, particularly a novel. Unless you can give all your time to it be prepared. Life keeps getting in my way.
Meh.
yeah
So is The Children of Hurin the story of Turin son of Hurin? Because if it is I've already read that story in a little book I like to call The Silmarillion. Hm, I'm not going to buy it if I've already read it, yesterday, and already know how it ends. The story of Turin is sad and one of Tolkien's best.
The Cavs failed to squeeze out a victory last night. By the way, LeBron was mauled by Bowen as he gathered himself for that last shot. He had a legit gripe. But hey, gotta make those big guy, fouls or no fouls.
Which leads me to my next point. NBA refs have wayyyy (yep 4 "y's") to much control over the game. In what other sport can a player be removed from play just because he is playing the game hard? I ask you. Football? Nope your team is penalized yards for almost all infractions with a loss of down thrown in for good measure. Barring an all out brawl it is very difficult to be ejected from any of the big three (baseball, football, basketball) except for basketball. And don't even get me started about hockey, fighting is a part of that game, a part many fans look forward to (like me). I say after a player accrues six fouls either give him "penalty box" time or let the other team shoot free throws after every foul committed AND retain possession of the ball, or some such combination. But stop throwing players out.
I can't wait to get up to Michigan in July. I haven't been Up North since Christmas.
The Cavs failed to squeeze out a victory last night. By the way, LeBron was mauled by Bowen as he gathered himself for that last shot. He had a legit gripe. But hey, gotta make those big guy, fouls or no fouls.
Which leads me to my next point. NBA refs have wayyyy (yep 4 "y's") to much control over the game. In what other sport can a player be removed from play just because he is playing the game hard? I ask you. Football? Nope your team is penalized yards for almost all infractions with a loss of down thrown in for good measure. Barring an all out brawl it is very difficult to be ejected from any of the big three (baseball, football, basketball) except for basketball. And don't even get me started about hockey, fighting is a part of that game, a part many fans look forward to (like me). I say after a player accrues six fouls either give him "penalty box" time or let the other team shoot free throws after every foul committed AND retain possession of the ball, or some such combination. But stop throwing players out.
I can't wait to get up to Michigan in July. I haven't been Up North since Christmas.
Monday, June 4, 2007
New Prologue Idea
Idea One: A Speaker Falls
"Speaker, no," the Eladii's voice boomed through the near empty audience chamber. The tall warrior stood over the body of a beautiful dark-haired woman stretching his sword out toward the broad-shouldered man walking slowly away.Two dozen dead and dying soldiers littered the chamber, a testament to the Eladii's skill with a blade. Aurelious Preston whirled at the Eladii's voice. Tears stained his pale, drawn face as he jabbed an acusing finger at the armored figure.
"Do not speak to me," he screamed, "murderer, you took her from me, you took my soul. He, he can help me. He can bring her back." Aurelious pointed to a figure even taller than the Eladii standing at the far end of the rectangular chamber.
Motes of light coalesced and swirled around the towering being obscuring his face. His voice was melodic and rich, "Come my child, come, I will soothe your hurt. Pay no heed to the words of this traitor."
The Eladii's voice was pleading now, "Speaker, please, she was an assassin, she was sent by our enemies to destroy you."
"I know my enemies," Aurelious replied as he turned to stand beside the shining figure. The Eladii's eyes glowed menacingly and he brought his shield to bear as green helmeted soldiers flooded the room, surrounding him.
"Are his companions disposed of?" the shining figure asked casually turning from the chamber with Aurelious in tow.
"Yes, almighty one, only this one remains," a broad soldier with a down-turned spear stamped into the front of his helm replied.
"I want this one taken alive, Captain Gin," the giant commanded as he exited the room. "As you wish almighty," Ian Gin gritted his teeth behind his dark visor and raised his rifle.
Across the room the Eladii brought his sword up and back, ready to strike. Futility momentarily overwhelmed him and he hesitated in his attack. He had failed. All was lost. The Speaker was gone. His brothers were dead. He had failed. Futility turned to grim determination as the first shots rang through the chamber slamming into the Eladii's tall shield. Only death could bring him peace. With a defiant scream he hurled himself into the armored throng.
"Speaker, no," the Eladii's voice boomed through the near empty audience chamber. The tall warrior stood over the body of a beautiful dark-haired woman stretching his sword out toward the broad-shouldered man walking slowly away.Two dozen dead and dying soldiers littered the chamber, a testament to the Eladii's skill with a blade. Aurelious Preston whirled at the Eladii's voice. Tears stained his pale, drawn face as he jabbed an acusing finger at the armored figure.
"Do not speak to me," he screamed, "murderer, you took her from me, you took my soul. He, he can help me. He can bring her back." Aurelious pointed to a figure even taller than the Eladii standing at the far end of the rectangular chamber.
Motes of light coalesced and swirled around the towering being obscuring his face. His voice was melodic and rich, "Come my child, come, I will soothe your hurt. Pay no heed to the words of this traitor."
The Eladii's voice was pleading now, "Speaker, please, she was an assassin, she was sent by our enemies to destroy you."
"I know my enemies," Aurelious replied as he turned to stand beside the shining figure. The Eladii's eyes glowed menacingly and he brought his shield to bear as green helmeted soldiers flooded the room, surrounding him.
"Are his companions disposed of?" the shining figure asked casually turning from the chamber with Aurelious in tow.
"Yes, almighty one, only this one remains," a broad soldier with a down-turned spear stamped into the front of his helm replied.
"I want this one taken alive, Captain Gin," the giant commanded as he exited the room. "As you wish almighty," Ian Gin gritted his teeth behind his dark visor and raised his rifle.
Across the room the Eladii brought his sword up and back, ready to strike. Futility momentarily overwhelmed him and he hesitated in his attack. He had failed. All was lost. The Speaker was gone. His brothers were dead. He had failed. Futility turned to grim determination as the first shots rang through the chamber slamming into the Eladii's tall shield. Only death could bring him peace. With a defiant scream he hurled himself into the armored throng.
Motivation
Man, I cannot get motivated to write. Not even a little bit. I need to just get back to the tried and true. You sit down for two hours in front of your computer/typewriter/writing pad and you don't get up until a) you have written something or b) there is nothing but a blank screen (in my case). Then you do it again the next day.
OK, got an e-mail from one of the speakers at last years ACFW convention. Very cool, cool guy good writer. He asked if my story was the one with the mute girl in it. Alas, mine is not. Mine is the one that needs alot of work still.
I'm am scrapping the prologue completely. And Jay, I plan on sending you a copy of the manuscript (you asked for it, haha). I am rewriting a new action-packed prologue that will send the reader's minds whirling with desire to read more, at least thats the plan. Then I will re-read the entire manuscript again removing all mention of a certain race that will remain nameless until the second book and writing something coherent regarding the Jade Throne (what a mess that's turned out to be. I mean what am I supposed to do with it? I think it was ill concieved but I'm pretty sure I can salvage the idea I just need to do alot or re-writing).
And the dialogue, mechanically, to many periods not enough commas. I'll have to look at it. A scene where Jan and his wife have a real conflict. Less narrative, less -ly adverbs, more showing. I like narrative by the way, sometimes it's the only way to really get some description done.
Just tighten things up I guess. I need to add a scene when Cyrus is dying (more showing instead of telling) and ends up crippled instead of dead. Mmm, yeah and then seriously start working on the next one. I have some good ideas that need to be tweeked but one thing at a time I guess.
OK, got an e-mail from one of the speakers at last years ACFW convention. Very cool, cool guy good writer. He asked if my story was the one with the mute girl in it. Alas, mine is not. Mine is the one that needs alot of work still.
I'm am scrapping the prologue completely. And Jay, I plan on sending you a copy of the manuscript (you asked for it, haha). I am rewriting a new action-packed prologue that will send the reader's minds whirling with desire to read more, at least thats the plan. Then I will re-read the entire manuscript again removing all mention of a certain race that will remain nameless until the second book and writing something coherent regarding the Jade Throne (what a mess that's turned out to be. I mean what am I supposed to do with it? I think it was ill concieved but I'm pretty sure I can salvage the idea I just need to do alot or re-writing).
And the dialogue, mechanically, to many periods not enough commas. I'll have to look at it. A scene where Jan and his wife have a real conflict. Less narrative, less -ly adverbs, more showing. I like narrative by the way, sometimes it's the only way to really get some description done.
Just tighten things up I guess. I need to add a scene when Cyrus is dying (more showing instead of telling) and ends up crippled instead of dead. Mmm, yeah and then seriously start working on the next one. I have some good ideas that need to be tweeked but one thing at a time I guess.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Mi Familia
Mi familia es Boricua. Here we have the Vazquez men...and a white man! How'd he get in there?
I snuck into the shot, what can I say. Actually that's me lighting up the room with my smile. Brilliant aint it?
I snuck into the shot, what can I say. Actually that's me lighting up the room with my smile. Brilliant aint it? I had a pretty relaxing weekend. Snorkled a bit in the pool. Had to make sure the gear was working properly before going out "shark slappin" in the briny deep. I got some really nice equipment for Christmas and this week was my first real chance to try it out.
The scare of the weekend had to be almost having to go to a baby shower! I know! Well, the estrogen levels were stifling when I entered the house, and then I saw the "crafts table". My wife, being the wonderful and sweet person that she is, allowed me to leave after a few introductions and re-introductions and hand shakes.
Then I ate Taco Bell and played basketball for two hours (I don't recommend that by the way). The guys at the court were all "illegal screens" and " you carried the ball". I scoffed at their weak calls and questioned their manhood demanding that they abide by the laws of streetball and stop calling ticky-tack-baby-fouls that they only called when the game was close. My stomach hurt because of the T-Bell and I put my toe through the front of my left Jordan, but still managed to only lose 1 game (of course they wouldn't let us warm up).
Pistons play tonight. It's all on the backcourt now. If Billups and Hamilton can get into the flow of the offense it shouldn't be that hard to win. Last game it looked like the Pistons walked through the game. They didn't trap LeBron as hard as they had in the first two games and so he ran wild. By the way, I don't hate LeBron but I do hate how every commentator/analyst is all up ons. "Will LeBron do this. Will LeBron do that. How much toothpaste does LeBron use? LeBron, will you pass score or serve Pan-Asian cuisine to the fans during the game."
I'm all LeBron'd out.
Peas
Friday, May 25, 2007
Let The Critiquing Begin!
Ok guys and gals here it is, the scoring just how I got it from the judges, unabridged and impartial. I'll let the judges speak for themselves.
Enjoy!
AMERICAN CHRISTIAN FICTION WRITERS
2007 GENESIS CONTEST SCORE SHEET
Category
Sci-fi/fantasy/allegory
Entry #
SF_033
Manuscript Title
Chosen
Judge #
SFJ04
Note to judges: These score sheets are returned to the contestants. Please write constructive comments whenever possible on both the manuscript and scoresheet. Each individual element is worth 1-5 points. Whole points only, no decimals like 3.5 or 2.7. If you score an element lower than 3, please provide a written comment to explain the score. Score values are: 5=Excellent, ready for publication; 4=Above average, needs minor tune-up; 3=Average, off to a good start; 2=Below average, major problems/revision needed; 1=Poor quality, needs lots of revision.
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
5
Has the author observed the required manuscript format? (Courier or Times New Roman 12 pt double spaced) Is the type neat? Does it have 1 inch margins all around?
2
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling?
STORY – 50 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Does the story hold your interest to the end of the entry?
4
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?
3
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance each scene?
4
Does the setting support the story without intruding?
3
Do inspirational elements grow organically out of character or plot?
4
Do scenes flow smoothly, giving a sense of movement?
3
Is there an opening line or paragraph that immediately hooks the reader into the story?
3
Is the writing fresh and original, avoiding clichés?
4
Does the writer utilize showing and telling skillfully?
3
Is the author’s voice distinct and unique?
CHARACTERIZATION – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
4
Is the main character identifiable yet unique? Does anything about the character feel clichéd?
4
Do secondary characters contribute to the story without distracting from it?
3
Do characters’ emotions seem believable and/or provide understandable motive?
CONFLICT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict?
3
Is a potential for conflict established that is strong enough to move the story forward?
DIALOGUE – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the dialogue between characters natural and not stilted, revealing plot and emotion in a way that narrative cannot?
3
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario)?
3
Is narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue, not overwhelming the reader?
67
TOTAL SCORE (out of possible 100 points)
COMMENTS:
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT:
Your punctuation and grammar needed a little attention. I made a few corrections in the text to give you an idea of what you were missing, but I didn’t mark everything.
STORY:
Once the story got moving I really started getting into it. Even so I found it difficult to care about your main character. I would have liked him to have at least one redeeming quality (besides having a nice wife). The prologue didn’t work for me at all. It didn’t move the story forward, and it didn’t make me like the main character. (I, like most Christian readers, aren’t really big on anti-heroes.) It’s often a mistake to start the story with a prologue – especially when it’s only purpose is to fill in backstory.
NOTE: Your scene with “The Owner” was very good (in a nicely disturbing way). The quicker you can get to this scene, the better.
CHARACTERIZATION:
You did a good job giving me a feel for Jan, I just wasn’t sure I wanted to spend a whole book with him.
CONFLICT:
I would have liked to see Jan interacting with his wife in a real scene backed by real conflict. We were “told” a lot about her, but we didn’t get to really “see” her. The story really didn’t get started for me until “The Owner” scene. It felt like a long time to wait for the conflict to be established.
DIALOGUE:
The dialogue was good – perhaps not as otherworldly as it could have been, but it was quite nice.
STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:
Strengths:
I really like the story world – a lot.
You nailed the creepy feel.
Love the story concept as well as the look ‘n’ feel.
Weaknesses:
Couldn’t sympathize with the main character.
I was distracted the picky mechanical details of the writing. Fortunately, these are the easiest problems to correct. Don’t be discouraged. You’ve got all the important stuff. Everything else can be easily learned.
AMERICAN CHRISTIAN FICTION WRITERS
2007 GENESIS CONTEST SCORE SHEET
Category
Sci-fi/fantasy/allegory
Entry #
SF_033
Manuscript Title
Chosen
Judge #
SFJ10
Note to judges: These score sheets are returned to the contestants. Please write constructive comments whenever possible on both the manuscript and scoresheet. Each individual element is worth 1-5 points. Whole points only, no decimals like 3.5 or 2.7. If you score an element lower than 3, please provide a written comment to explain the score. Score values are: 5=Excellent, ready for publication; 4=Above average, needs minor tune-up; 3=Average, off to a good start; 2=Below average, major problems/revision needed; 1=Poor quality, needs lots of revision.
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
5
Has the author observed the required manuscript format? (Courier or Times New Roman 12 pt double spaced) Is the type neat? Does it have 1 inch margins all around?
2
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling?
STORY – 50 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Does the story hold your interest to the end of the entry?
5
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?
4
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance each scene?
3
Does the setting support the story without intruding?
5
Do inspirational elements grow organically out of character or plot?
3
Do scenes flow smoothly, giving a sense of movement?
3
Is there an opening line or paragraph that immediately hooks the reader into the story?
3
Is the writing fresh and original, avoiding clichés?
3
Does the writer utilize showing and telling skillfully?
3
Is the author’s voice distinct and unique?
CHARACTERIZATION – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the main character identifiable yet unique? Does anything about the character feel clichéd?
3
Do secondary characters contribute to the story without distracting from it?
3
Do characters’ emotions seem believable and/or provide understandable motive?
CONFLICT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict?
2
Is a potential for conflict established that is strong enough to move the story forward?
DIALOGUE – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the dialogue between characters natural and not stilted, revealing plot and emotion in a way that narrative cannot?
3
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario)?
3
Is narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue, not overwhelming the reader?
65
TOTAL SCORE (out of possible 100 points)
COMMENTS:
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT: MSS formatting appears professional. However much is required regarding general grammar such as punctuation. Specifically, you need to study how to write dialogue as well as good placement of commas.
STORY: The story itself is dark and somewhat intriguing, I might be interested to read more about the character’s journey, but at the same time, I did not find the main character someone to be sympathetic with if that is important to you.
CHARACTERIZATION: Much of characterization has to do with POV and what the character sees and notices. Your character seemed to notice a lot of description for being a drug addict. Just a thought;)
CONFLICT: I’m not exactly sure what the main story conflict is after reading the pages of your entry. Still it might be enough that he’s an addict and murderer and now in trouble with his boss to carry the reader on until you get to the main conflict. But as it is, I’m not sure that this conflict can carry through to an entire novel. Just make sure you’ve got some more in terms of conflict.
DIALOGUE: Dialogue did not sound stilted. However, you need to study correct dialogue formatting. In addition, the story was filled with narrative. You might consider finding a way to add much more dialogue and show the story in this way, rather than telling through narrative.
STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:
Strength is in a creative imagination and potential for a great story. Weaknesses are in punctuation and general craft issues. Continue to write and you will masters these.
AMERICAN CHRISTIAN FICTION WRITERS
2007 GENESIS CONTEST SCORE SHEET
Category
Sci-fi/fantasy/allegory
Entry #
SF_033
Manuscript Title
Chosen
Judge #
SFJ17
Note to judges: These score sheets are returned to the contestants. Please write constructive comments whenever possible on both the manuscript and scoresheet. Each individual element is worth 1-5 points. Whole points only, no decimals like 3.5 or 2.7. If you score an element lower than 3, please provide a written comment to explain the score. Score values are: 5=Excellent, ready for publication; 4=Above average, needs minor tune-up; 3=Average, off to a good start; 2=Below average, major problems/revision needed; 1=Poor quality, needs lots of revision.
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
4
Has the author observed the required manuscript format? (Courier or Times New Roman 12 pt double spaced) Is the type neat? Does it have 1 inch margins all around?
3
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling? The punctuation needs some help in the dialogue department.
STORY – 50 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Does the story hold your interest to the end of the entry? The prologue seems unnecessary.
5
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?
4
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance each scene?
3
Does the setting support the story without intruding? A little too much setting and explanation of names of places .
5
Do inspirational elements grow organically out of character or plot?
4
Do scenes flow smoothly, giving a sense of movement?
3
Is there an opening line or paragraph that immediately hooks the reader into the story? Not really.
4
Is the writing fresh and original, avoiding clichés?
3
Does the writer utilize showing and telling skillfully? Watch those ‘ly’ words.
4
Is the author’s voice distinct and unique?
CHARACTERIZATION – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the main character identifiable yet unique? Does anything about the character feel clichéd? See below.
4
Do secondary characters contribute to the story without distracting from it?
4
Do characters’ emotions seem believable and/or provide understandable motive?
CONFLICT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict? I didn’t see his motivation in stabbing that blonde guy in the prologue. He hadn’t given the guy the drugs, so he hadn’t lost anything, really. Not worth killing someone.
4
Is a potential for conflict established that is strong enough to move the story forward?
DIALOGUE – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
4
Is the dialogue between characters natural and not stilted, revealing plot and emotion in a way that narrative cannot?
4
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario)?
4
Is narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue, not overwhelming the reader?
75
TOTAL SCORE (out of possible 100 points)
COMMENTS:
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT: The formatting was fine. I marked you down to a four because of those weird black lines that were randomly in there.
STORY: After a prologue and three chapters, I don’t know what this story is about. I got a hint that he’s being sent on some errand by the vampires, but I don’t trust that is what the story will be about because nothing’s been clear. Yet. The opening has Jan in a library reading books. I though we had some kind of student getting trained story. Then it turns out he’s a drug dealer. I don’t know why it started in the library. The prologue seems completely unnecessary. I went with it at first, thinking you were going to tie in his guilt over this sin somehow. But then I found out later that Jan had killed someone else last time he was underground, so I don’t see the significance of the prologue.
I would cut the prologue and start with chapter one. It’s got a pretty good hook with him doing drugs. This gets us in his world right off and it will get us to the vampire story sooner, if that’s the plot.
CHARACTERIZATION: The reader needs to know what problem the main character is going to face ASAP so we can get on board with him or her. Not until the vampire dude yells at Jan is there a hint of plot problem other than drug addiction. Maybe it would help to place a little fear in Jan’s mind every time he takes a hit. Will Vladimir know I’m taking a cut? What will they do if they find out? A little dread on the ride over. We want our main characters to be smart, so I feel like he would be wondering why Vladimir wants to see him.
Jan is more interesting in the prologue because we see how he interacts with Marco. His indifference and tone tell us a lot about him. But then he cowers with the vampires, which makes sense, them being vampires, but it’s a contrast in his character. Maybe he should be a smart aleck to Vladimir until he sees that he was a vampire. Was Jan surprised? Did he know about the vampire thing? I couldn’t tell for sure. You want to work on all this a bit. If he knows he should be afraid. If he doesn’t, he should be freaking our on his trip into the underground, dwelling on the girl getting bit or something. The teeth… When the character doesn’t know how to react, he isn’t believable to the reader and the reader won’t know how to react.
CONFLICT: Not much conflict going on. There was some with the Marco thing. Then some with him sneaking out. Some with the bouncer and then the vampires and some with the trip underground. All of it is good realistic conflict for your world and story, but it’s smothered in a lot of description of random characters that never return. The librarian, Marcos, the men waiting by the train. Readers are trying to keep up with your story and we read about these characters and wonder what they are going to do. When they serve no purpose other than description, they have to go. Cut them and keep us in action. Why not save the descriptions and use them for the bouncer, or Dric…
DIALOGUE: Read the dialogue out loud. Most of it is fine. Trim it up a bit. Be careful with the tags after dialogue. You don’t need to say something all the time. Read Stein on Writing by Sol Stein and Self Editing for Fiction Writers. Both hacve great stuff on dialogue and showing vs. telling.
STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: YOu’ve got an interesting main character in an interesting world. Just get us into the plot sooner so we can know what’s going on and who/what he’s up against. Watch the ‘ly’ words and study up on how to punctuate dialogue. The comma vs. period thing. This has got a lot of potential. Keep it up!
God bless.
Enjoy!
AMERICAN CHRISTIAN FICTION WRITERS
2007 GENESIS CONTEST SCORE SHEET
Category
Sci-fi/fantasy/allegory
Entry #
SF_033
Manuscript Title
Chosen
Judge #
SFJ04
Note to judges: These score sheets are returned to the contestants. Please write constructive comments whenever possible on both the manuscript and scoresheet. Each individual element is worth 1-5 points. Whole points only, no decimals like 3.5 or 2.7. If you score an element lower than 3, please provide a written comment to explain the score. Score values are: 5=Excellent, ready for publication; 4=Above average, needs minor tune-up; 3=Average, off to a good start; 2=Below average, major problems/revision needed; 1=Poor quality, needs lots of revision.
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
5
Has the author observed the required manuscript format? (Courier or Times New Roman 12 pt double spaced) Is the type neat? Does it have 1 inch margins all around?
2
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling?
STORY – 50 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Does the story hold your interest to the end of the entry?
4
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?
3
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance each scene?
4
Does the setting support the story without intruding?
3
Do inspirational elements grow organically out of character or plot?
4
Do scenes flow smoothly, giving a sense of movement?
3
Is there an opening line or paragraph that immediately hooks the reader into the story?
3
Is the writing fresh and original, avoiding clichés?
4
Does the writer utilize showing and telling skillfully?
3
Is the author’s voice distinct and unique?
CHARACTERIZATION – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
4
Is the main character identifiable yet unique? Does anything about the character feel clichéd?
4
Do secondary characters contribute to the story without distracting from it?
3
Do characters’ emotions seem believable and/or provide understandable motive?
CONFLICT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict?
3
Is a potential for conflict established that is strong enough to move the story forward?
DIALOGUE – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the dialogue between characters natural and not stilted, revealing plot and emotion in a way that narrative cannot?
3
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario)?
3
Is narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue, not overwhelming the reader?
67
TOTAL SCORE (out of possible 100 points)
COMMENTS:
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT:
Your punctuation and grammar needed a little attention. I made a few corrections in the text to give you an idea of what you were missing, but I didn’t mark everything.
STORY:
Once the story got moving I really started getting into it. Even so I found it difficult to care about your main character. I would have liked him to have at least one redeeming quality (besides having a nice wife). The prologue didn’t work for me at all. It didn’t move the story forward, and it didn’t make me like the main character. (I, like most Christian readers, aren’t really big on anti-heroes.) It’s often a mistake to start the story with a prologue – especially when it’s only purpose is to fill in backstory.
NOTE: Your scene with “The Owner” was very good (in a nicely disturbing way). The quicker you can get to this scene, the better.
CHARACTERIZATION:
You did a good job giving me a feel for Jan, I just wasn’t sure I wanted to spend a whole book with him.
CONFLICT:
I would have liked to see Jan interacting with his wife in a real scene backed by real conflict. We were “told” a lot about her, but we didn’t get to really “see” her. The story really didn’t get started for me until “The Owner” scene. It felt like a long time to wait for the conflict to be established.
DIALOGUE:
The dialogue was good – perhaps not as otherworldly as it could have been, but it was quite nice.
STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:
Strengths:
I really like the story world – a lot.
You nailed the creepy feel.
Love the story concept as well as the look ‘n’ feel.
Weaknesses:
Couldn’t sympathize with the main character.
I was distracted the picky mechanical details of the writing. Fortunately, these are the easiest problems to correct. Don’t be discouraged. You’ve got all the important stuff. Everything else can be easily learned.
AMERICAN CHRISTIAN FICTION WRITERS
2007 GENESIS CONTEST SCORE SHEET
Category
Sci-fi/fantasy/allegory
Entry #
SF_033
Manuscript Title
Chosen
Judge #
SFJ10
Note to judges: These score sheets are returned to the contestants. Please write constructive comments whenever possible on both the manuscript and scoresheet. Each individual element is worth 1-5 points. Whole points only, no decimals like 3.5 or 2.7. If you score an element lower than 3, please provide a written comment to explain the score. Score values are: 5=Excellent, ready for publication; 4=Above average, needs minor tune-up; 3=Average, off to a good start; 2=Below average, major problems/revision needed; 1=Poor quality, needs lots of revision.
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
5
Has the author observed the required manuscript format? (Courier or Times New Roman 12 pt double spaced) Is the type neat? Does it have 1 inch margins all around?
2
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling?
STORY – 50 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Does the story hold your interest to the end of the entry?
5
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?
4
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance each scene?
3
Does the setting support the story without intruding?
5
Do inspirational elements grow organically out of character or plot?
3
Do scenes flow smoothly, giving a sense of movement?
3
Is there an opening line or paragraph that immediately hooks the reader into the story?
3
Is the writing fresh and original, avoiding clichés?
3
Does the writer utilize showing and telling skillfully?
3
Is the author’s voice distinct and unique?
CHARACTERIZATION – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the main character identifiable yet unique? Does anything about the character feel clichéd?
3
Do secondary characters contribute to the story without distracting from it?
3
Do characters’ emotions seem believable and/or provide understandable motive?
CONFLICT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict?
2
Is a potential for conflict established that is strong enough to move the story forward?
DIALOGUE – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the dialogue between characters natural and not stilted, revealing plot and emotion in a way that narrative cannot?
3
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario)?
3
Is narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue, not overwhelming the reader?
65
TOTAL SCORE (out of possible 100 points)
COMMENTS:
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT: MSS formatting appears professional. However much is required regarding general grammar such as punctuation. Specifically, you need to study how to write dialogue as well as good placement of commas.
STORY: The story itself is dark and somewhat intriguing, I might be interested to read more about the character’s journey, but at the same time, I did not find the main character someone to be sympathetic with if that is important to you.
CHARACTERIZATION: Much of characterization has to do with POV and what the character sees and notices. Your character seemed to notice a lot of description for being a drug addict. Just a thought;)
CONFLICT: I’m not exactly sure what the main story conflict is after reading the pages of your entry. Still it might be enough that he’s an addict and murderer and now in trouble with his boss to carry the reader on until you get to the main conflict. But as it is, I’m not sure that this conflict can carry through to an entire novel. Just make sure you’ve got some more in terms of conflict.
DIALOGUE: Dialogue did not sound stilted. However, you need to study correct dialogue formatting. In addition, the story was filled with narrative. You might consider finding a way to add much more dialogue and show the story in this way, rather than telling through narrative.
STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES:
Strength is in a creative imagination and potential for a great story. Weaknesses are in punctuation and general craft issues. Continue to write and you will masters these.
AMERICAN CHRISTIAN FICTION WRITERS
2007 GENESIS CONTEST SCORE SHEET
Category
Sci-fi/fantasy/allegory
Entry #
SF_033
Manuscript Title
Chosen
Judge #
SFJ17
Note to judges: These score sheets are returned to the contestants. Please write constructive comments whenever possible on both the manuscript and scoresheet. Each individual element is worth 1-5 points. Whole points only, no decimals like 3.5 or 2.7. If you score an element lower than 3, please provide a written comment to explain the score. Score values are: 5=Excellent, ready for publication; 4=Above average, needs minor tune-up; 3=Average, off to a good start; 2=Below average, major problems/revision needed; 1=Poor quality, needs lots of revision.
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
4
Has the author observed the required manuscript format? (Courier or Times New Roman 12 pt double spaced) Is the type neat? Does it have 1 inch margins all around?
3
Does the author have a command of the elements of grammar, punctuation, and spelling? The punctuation needs some help in the dialogue department.
STORY – 50 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Does the story hold your interest to the end of the entry? The prologue seems unnecessary.
5
Is the point of view consistent? Are POV changes smooth and logical?
4
Do sensory details (sight, sound, touch, smell, taste) enhance each scene?
3
Does the setting support the story without intruding? A little too much setting and explanation of names of places .
5
Do inspirational elements grow organically out of character or plot?
4
Do scenes flow smoothly, giving a sense of movement?
3
Is there an opening line or paragraph that immediately hooks the reader into the story? Not really.
4
Is the writing fresh and original, avoiding clichés?
3
Does the writer utilize showing and telling skillfully? Watch those ‘ly’ words.
4
Is the author’s voice distinct and unique?
CHARACTERIZATION – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Is the main character identifiable yet unique? Does anything about the character feel clichéd? See below.
4
Do secondary characters contribute to the story without distracting from it?
4
Do characters’ emotions seem believable and/or provide understandable motive?
CONFLICT – 10 POINTS (1-5 points each)
3
Are character motivations powerful enough to create sufficient conflict? I didn’t see his motivation in stabbing that blonde guy in the prologue. He hadn’t given the guy the drugs, so he hadn’t lost anything, really. Not worth killing someone.
4
Is a potential for conflict established that is strong enough to move the story forward?
DIALOGUE – 15 POINTS (1-5 points each)
4
Is the dialogue between characters natural and not stilted, revealing plot and emotion in a way that narrative cannot?
4
Are the characters’ voices distinct and appropriate for the setting (time period or scenario)?
4
Is narrative necessary and well-placed with the dialogue, not overwhelming the reader?
75
TOTAL SCORE (out of possible 100 points)
COMMENTS:
PROFESSIONAL IMPACT: The formatting was fine. I marked you down to a four because of those weird black lines that were randomly in there.
STORY: After a prologue and three chapters, I don’t know what this story is about. I got a hint that he’s being sent on some errand by the vampires, but I don’t trust that is what the story will be about because nothing’s been clear. Yet. The opening has Jan in a library reading books. I though we had some kind of student getting trained story. Then it turns out he’s a drug dealer. I don’t know why it started in the library. The prologue seems completely unnecessary. I went with it at first, thinking you were going to tie in his guilt over this sin somehow. But then I found out later that Jan had killed someone else last time he was underground, so I don’t see the significance of the prologue.
I would cut the prologue and start with chapter one. It’s got a pretty good hook with him doing drugs. This gets us in his world right off and it will get us to the vampire story sooner, if that’s the plot.
CHARACTERIZATION: The reader needs to know what problem the main character is going to face ASAP so we can get on board with him or her. Not until the vampire dude yells at Jan is there a hint of plot problem other than drug addiction. Maybe it would help to place a little fear in Jan’s mind every time he takes a hit. Will Vladimir know I’m taking a cut? What will they do if they find out? A little dread on the ride over. We want our main characters to be smart, so I feel like he would be wondering why Vladimir wants to see him.
Jan is more interesting in the prologue because we see how he interacts with Marco. His indifference and tone tell us a lot about him. But then he cowers with the vampires, which makes sense, them being vampires, but it’s a contrast in his character. Maybe he should be a smart aleck to Vladimir until he sees that he was a vampire. Was Jan surprised? Did he know about the vampire thing? I couldn’t tell for sure. You want to work on all this a bit. If he knows he should be afraid. If he doesn’t, he should be freaking our on his trip into the underground, dwelling on the girl getting bit or something. The teeth… When the character doesn’t know how to react, he isn’t believable to the reader and the reader won’t know how to react.
CONFLICT: Not much conflict going on. There was some with the Marco thing. Then some with him sneaking out. Some with the bouncer and then the vampires and some with the trip underground. All of it is good realistic conflict for your world and story, but it’s smothered in a lot of description of random characters that never return. The librarian, Marcos, the men waiting by the train. Readers are trying to keep up with your story and we read about these characters and wonder what they are going to do. When they serve no purpose other than description, they have to go. Cut them and keep us in action. Why not save the descriptions and use them for the bouncer, or Dric…
DIALOGUE: Read the dialogue out loud. Most of it is fine. Trim it up a bit. Be careful with the tags after dialogue. You don’t need to say something all the time. Read Stein on Writing by Sol Stein and Self Editing for Fiction Writers. Both hacve great stuff on dialogue and showing vs. telling.
STRENGTHS/WEAKNESSES: YOu’ve got an interesting main character in an interesting world. Just get us into the plot sooner so we can know what’s going on and who/what he’s up against. Watch the ‘ly’ words and study up on how to punctuate dialogue. The comma vs. period thing. This has got a lot of potential. Keep it up!
God bless.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
So, I sent in my manuscript to this contest. Three judges scored the first twenty-five pages of my work. The 1st judge gave me a 65/100 the second a 67/100 and the third a 75/100. The book with the highest score in each genre will win. I doubt I will place. However, the critiques alone that the three judges did on the paper were well worth the $30 it took to enter the contest. I have alot of work to do this summer...alot. Don't get me wrong there was alot of positive feedback as well, but yeah. 65, 67, 75. I'd like to bump those up a score o'points or so.
That's me thinking about my manuscript and drinking a shake to ease the intense pain in my ego.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
How Can I Be Down?
Lame and/or Tragic:
-Over-sized t-shirts with money on them and/or diamonds particularly diamond grills.
-Over-sized t-shirts with gangsta' cartoon characters on them (aka Thugs Bunny or Tweety Bird bustin' a cap).
-Tony Montana from Scarface. I'm not sure when this guy became an idol to 13 year old boys, but the he is everywhere. A kid in my class right now has Scarface shoes on.
-Claiming that you represent Westside or Southside when you are from a cowtown with a drive-in-theatre and a Subway for your main entertainment/recreational choices. Seriously, you're repping the South Side of Wimauma? Or do you really have no idea what you are doing and are just trying to act hard to seem cool?
-The "n" word. Ok, I know that you are trying to rep 50 and Luda, but come on kids it's a racial slur.
-Tattoo'd 13 year olds. Yeah, I know a few.
-Pregnant 8th graders. Yep, a few of them too.
-Parents who go to the club. How old are you again? Be a mom would ya?
Now that that's out of the way...
LOST last night wasn't as good as last weeks, but the "Is Charlie going to die?" thing kept me interested.
Heroes: best show on tv? probably. But it's the George RR Martin of tv shows to me, awesome but I just haven't gotten into it yet.
So I raided Gruul's Lair with Ashen last night...zzzzzzzz. Yeah wow, brought back fun memories of wiping on Vael 27 times in a row. It was no CrazyDelicious WSG I can tell you that. And I like the guys and gals in Ashen. You know what, it was a nice change and I was glad to go help. I just wouldn't want to do it 5 days a week for 4 hours.
I'll be back later...
-Over-sized t-shirts with money on them and/or diamonds particularly diamond grills.
-Over-sized t-shirts with gangsta' cartoon characters on them (aka Thugs Bunny or Tweety Bird bustin' a cap).
-Tony Montana from Scarface. I'm not sure when this guy became an idol to 13 year old boys, but the he is everywhere. A kid in my class right now has Scarface shoes on.
-Claiming that you represent Westside or Southside when you are from a cowtown with a drive-in-theatre and a Subway for your main entertainment/recreational choices. Seriously, you're repping the South Side of Wimauma? Or do you really have no idea what you are doing and are just trying to act hard to seem cool?
-The "n" word. Ok, I know that you are trying to rep 50 and Luda, but come on kids it's a racial slur.
-Tattoo'd 13 year olds. Yeah, I know a few.
-Pregnant 8th graders. Yep, a few of them too.
-Parents who go to the club. How old are you again? Be a mom would ya?
Now that that's out of the way...
LOST last night wasn't as good as last weeks, but the "Is Charlie going to die?" thing kept me interested.
Heroes: best show on tv? probably. But it's the George RR Martin of tv shows to me, awesome but I just haven't gotten into it yet.
So I raided Gruul's Lair with Ashen last night...zzzzzzzz. Yeah wow, brought back fun memories of wiping on Vael 27 times in a row. It was no CrazyDelicious WSG I can tell you that. And I like the guys and gals in Ashen. You know what, it was a nice change and I was glad to go help. I just wouldn't want to do it 5 days a week for 4 hours.
I'll be back later...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Wednesday in May
-The Pistons, what can I say? They will win the series but I can't help but get the feeling I had during last year's Cleveland series. Frustrating to watch.
-WSG last night was the most fun I've had on the ole compy in a while. The guys kept me up til 1am on a school night! That's how fun it was!
-Waiting for school to end is like waiting for your work day to be over with 20 minutes left on your shift. You keep looking at the clock and looking at the clock and the minutes seem like hours. Well, these days seem like weeks. But, I'm not complaining.
-Man am I tired. I just dozed off there for a sec...stupid WSG. heh.
-I like things simple. I like truths like, love God with all your heart, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Simple, encompasses a world of truth and yet is easily understood by me. Also, "Be ye kind one to another..." no PhD needed. "Ah," some say, "that's Sunday school kids stuff." I say those are the building blocks of my faith and the most important things I can remember throughout my day because those truths encompass my entire world view.
Here's another one. If you are a child of God then God wants the best for you all the time every time. He didn't even spare his Son. That's what keep me from being bitter when I think of my younger brother drowning in the ocean while I was hundreds of miles away powerless. God always loves me, He always wants what is best for me. We all go through things, horrible things, things so terrible we never imagined them. When my brother died I experienced my worst nightmare. Seriously, when I thought, "What could be the worst thing to happen to me?" that is what I thought of, my brother dying. And it happened. So then what? I couldn't figure out why God would want to make my life worse by taking him away. And after a long time I came to the realization that he was never mine. So I say I will see him soon and I say that God's ways are higher than my ways, the pot doesn't ask the potter, "why did you make me like this?" and the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be His name.
But those aren't cliches to me, they aren't Sunday schoool memory work, they're my life.
-WSG last night was the most fun I've had on the ole compy in a while. The guys kept me up til 1am on a school night! That's how fun it was!
-Waiting for school to end is like waiting for your work day to be over with 20 minutes left on your shift. You keep looking at the clock and looking at the clock and the minutes seem like hours. Well, these days seem like weeks. But, I'm not complaining.
-Man am I tired. I just dozed off there for a sec...stupid WSG. heh.
-I like things simple. I like truths like, love God with all your heart, soul and strength and love your neighbor as yourself. Simple, encompasses a world of truth and yet is easily understood by me. Also, "Be ye kind one to another..." no PhD needed. "Ah," some say, "that's Sunday school kids stuff." I say those are the building blocks of my faith and the most important things I can remember throughout my day because those truths encompass my entire world view.
Here's another one. If you are a child of God then God wants the best for you all the time every time. He didn't even spare his Son. That's what keep me from being bitter when I think of my younger brother drowning in the ocean while I was hundreds of miles away powerless. God always loves me, He always wants what is best for me. We all go through things, horrible things, things so terrible we never imagined them. When my brother died I experienced my worst nightmare. Seriously, when I thought, "What could be the worst thing to happen to me?" that is what I thought of, my brother dying. And it happened. So then what? I couldn't figure out why God would want to make my life worse by taking him away. And after a long time I came to the realization that he was never mine. So I say I will see him soon and I say that God's ways are higher than my ways, the pot doesn't ask the potter, "why did you make me like this?" and the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be His name.
But those aren't cliches to me, they aren't Sunday schoool memory work, they're my life.
Monday, May 14, 2007
Word
I bet you can't name three good Viking movies.
So, I had a feeling the Pistons would lose game 4. I'm not nervous for them. Pouring you're heart and soul into a single goal for so long is very, very difficult. There are bound to be lapses, it's human nature. Also, closing out a series at home is good.
Mother's Day was great. I got to see my mom and spend some time with the family.
I was weeding the garden with my wife the other day and I couldn't help but notice the mulch. It's wood chips. I got an idea for a story setting. A place so blasted and torn apart that the land is a fire-hardened jumble of earth and rock, like mulch. I'm still working on it.
The guy who coached football with me said he saw a dead leopard by the side of the road a few miles from where I live. I questioned the authenticity of the statement until I remembered how many carnies and circus folk live in a nearby town. Then I was like, "Oh." Another day in the greater South Shore area.
I was leafing throught The Silmarillion last night, that's a good sign as far as writing goes. I think I know where I want to go generally with my next manuscript, but I'm still working on plot twists and such. That's one of the hardest things for me to gauge, plot twists, because they're not twists to me. I'm not surprised cause I wrote it. So when I'm reading my manuscript I'm like, "yeah, saw that one coming," then I say, "yeah, cause you wrote it idiot." Anyway, I'm not sure if I killed off to many people in the first one. Nah.
I really want to strive to make the second part better than the first. Like New Hope and Empire, both great, but I've got to give the slight edge to Empire. I guess that's what I'm shooting for. I should have something started by the end of this month.
"Asteriods do not concern me admiral."
Kind of how I feel about life in general. The mundane, the everday, I find somewhat tedious. Now, there is a beauty in the everyday, there is, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about reciting lists, ugh, like, "These are the things we need to do...". Those are the asteriods and I'm Darth Vader. I can't be concerned with that stuff, I just want the Millenium Falcon found! That is my deficiency. I need to be more concerned about how many cans of beans are in the pantry even though I don't really like them, or whether I vacuumed under the dinner table even though no one has sat at it or stepped foot near it since the last time. Why you ask? Because that's part of life. Having fun is great, and focusing on a goal is grand, but the everyday-bean-counting-cuttin'-out-coupons side of life has to have its due.
You've got to CC before you can pull, DPS and loot.
So, I had a feeling the Pistons would lose game 4. I'm not nervous for them. Pouring you're heart and soul into a single goal for so long is very, very difficult. There are bound to be lapses, it's human nature. Also, closing out a series at home is good.
Mother's Day was great. I got to see my mom and spend some time with the family.
I was weeding the garden with my wife the other day and I couldn't help but notice the mulch. It's wood chips. I got an idea for a story setting. A place so blasted and torn apart that the land is a fire-hardened jumble of earth and rock, like mulch. I'm still working on it.
The guy who coached football with me said he saw a dead leopard by the side of the road a few miles from where I live. I questioned the authenticity of the statement until I remembered how many carnies and circus folk live in a nearby town. Then I was like, "Oh." Another day in the greater South Shore area.
I was leafing throught The Silmarillion last night, that's a good sign as far as writing goes. I think I know where I want to go generally with my next manuscript, but I'm still working on plot twists and such. That's one of the hardest things for me to gauge, plot twists, because they're not twists to me. I'm not surprised cause I wrote it. So when I'm reading my manuscript I'm like, "yeah, saw that one coming," then I say, "yeah, cause you wrote it idiot." Anyway, I'm not sure if I killed off to many people in the first one. Nah.
I really want to strive to make the second part better than the first. Like New Hope and Empire, both great, but I've got to give the slight edge to Empire. I guess that's what I'm shooting for. I should have something started by the end of this month.
"Asteriods do not concern me admiral."
Kind of how I feel about life in general. The mundane, the everday, I find somewhat tedious. Now, there is a beauty in the everyday, there is, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about reciting lists, ugh, like, "These are the things we need to do...". Those are the asteriods and I'm Darth Vader. I can't be concerned with that stuff, I just want the Millenium Falcon found! That is my deficiency. I need to be more concerned about how many cans of beans are in the pantry even though I don't really like them, or whether I vacuumed under the dinner table even though no one has sat at it or stepped foot near it since the last time. Why you ask? Because that's part of life. Having fun is great, and focusing on a goal is grand, but the everyday-bean-counting-cuttin'-out-coupons side of life has to have its due.
You've got to CC before you can pull, DPS and loot.
Monday, April 30, 2007
In the library
I got booted out of my room so Mr. Kanaby could give a test there. It's all good. I get tired of being cooped up in that room everyday anyway. The weather is getting hot. I found myself sweating today just standing outside. Yeah, I know, gross.
Justice came to me this weekend in the form of the Miami Heat getting swept. Let me tell you how hard it was being a Pistons fan last year about this time. When they lost to the Heat I got no less than a dozen phone calls and pages from everyone I ever met from Miami, laughing and mocking my home team. Well, who's laughing now? It was a sweet, sweet Sunday afternoon as I sat in my in-laws front room with the family watching the Heat struggle and fall. Ahhh, the shocked silence, the sniffling sobs, the sounds of justice. It could only have been better if it would have been the Pistons (who look really focused btw).
Wow, ok, 18 more days of school, and then I guess I'm going to write another book. Between that and trying to get my first book published it should keep me pretty busy. I can really focus on getting the first manuscript out to more publishers than just one (even though the manuscript hasn't been rejected) and putting together a well-written sequel. Man, am I rusty right now, but it comes back quick.
Last night I did some arenas and three AB's with friends. The last AB we got mobbed by an entire team of tauren spamming "mooooo" e-motes as they descended upon us. It was frightening and probably the closest I'll ever get to being in an actual stampede. Arena was tough. Everytime the other team sported a pally we lost. Everytime. I think I would like to do an all stealth class team, 3 rogues or 2 rogues and a druid. I was getting a little frustrated when we went 4-12 but it was our first night and Nas was lagging bad. I thought I was really sucking, but I topped the charts in our AB matches so idk. Something to work on and way more fun than raiding.
Tonight, I'ma start laundry and do dishes, and pick up the house a bit. Then, who knows...the night is wide open.
Justice came to me this weekend in the form of the Miami Heat getting swept. Let me tell you how hard it was being a Pistons fan last year about this time. When they lost to the Heat I got no less than a dozen phone calls and pages from everyone I ever met from Miami, laughing and mocking my home team. Well, who's laughing now? It was a sweet, sweet Sunday afternoon as I sat in my in-laws front room with the family watching the Heat struggle and fall. Ahhh, the shocked silence, the sniffling sobs, the sounds of justice. It could only have been better if it would have been the Pistons (who look really focused btw).
Wow, ok, 18 more days of school, and then I guess I'm going to write another book. Between that and trying to get my first book published it should keep me pretty busy. I can really focus on getting the first manuscript out to more publishers than just one (even though the manuscript hasn't been rejected) and putting together a well-written sequel. Man, am I rusty right now, but it comes back quick.
Last night I did some arenas and three AB's with friends. The last AB we got mobbed by an entire team of tauren spamming "mooooo" e-motes as they descended upon us. It was frightening and probably the closest I'll ever get to being in an actual stampede. Arena was tough. Everytime the other team sported a pally we lost. Everytime. I think I would like to do an all stealth class team, 3 rogues or 2 rogues and a druid. I was getting a little frustrated when we went 4-12 but it was our first night and Nas was lagging bad. I thought I was really sucking, but I topped the charts in our AB matches so idk. Something to work on and way more fun than raiding.
Tonight, I'ma start laundry and do dishes, and pick up the house a bit. Then, who knows...the night is wide open.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Good ole Days
Gotta get the oil changed after school today. Looks like I'll be leaving football practice early. Oh yeah, gotta pick up the dog too. Sometimes my thoughts become a list of what I need to do. Like what happened just now. This is not a creative mindset. You can't write anything good when you are thinking about putting the lightbulb in the garage door opener. Believe me I've tried.
So...this Mountain Dew should get me through first period and the first half of practice. After that, I'm on my own.
Remember the good ole days? I bet alot of you who read this are thinking about the same times as I am. Or not. But really, when the good ole days were happening, I wasn't thinking about them as especially good, and they weren't old at the time since they were in the present when they happend. It's an interesting process, getting all wistful over the past and things that happened then. At least for me, my memory seems to gloss over the parts that weren't so good. Now I'm rambling.
Get back to me in 10 years and we can talk about how today was one of the good ole days.
PS-32 is the new 22
PPS-Ricker, sorry for not believing you about the Safety Dance. You were right all along.
So...this Mountain Dew should get me through first period and the first half of practice. After that, I'm on my own.
Remember the good ole days? I bet alot of you who read this are thinking about the same times as I am. Or not. But really, when the good ole days were happening, I wasn't thinking about them as especially good, and they weren't old at the time since they were in the present when they happend. It's an interesting process, getting all wistful over the past and things that happened then. At least for me, my memory seems to gloss over the parts that weren't so good. Now I'm rambling.
Get back to me in 10 years and we can talk about how today was one of the good ole days.
PS-32 is the new 22
PPS-Ricker, sorry for not believing you about the Safety Dance. You were right all along.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Is it National Poetry Month?
Here's a poem I wrote.
Musings on a Fallen Oak
Totem of this dying place,
I stand before you,
Tower of decay,
Your limbs reach up,
As do mine,
You stretch skyward while I pray,
We groan together,
In this time of travail,
I see my end in your great corpse,
Your ancient crown once tall and proud,
Now bowed in humble reverence,
To the Maker,
The Giver and the Taker,
How long ‘til I am so arranged?
With naked limbs and weathered skin,
A hollow trunk,
In which no life resides.
Musings on a Fallen Oak
Totem of this dying place,
I stand before you,
Tower of decay,
Your limbs reach up,
As do mine,
You stretch skyward while I pray,
We groan together,
In this time of travail,
I see my end in your great corpse,
Your ancient crown once tall and proud,
Now bowed in humble reverence,
To the Maker,
The Giver and the Taker,
How long ‘til I am so arranged?
With naked limbs and weathered skin,
A hollow trunk,
In which no life resides.
Monday, April 23, 2007
NBA Weekend
I was watching the Spurs and Nuggets last night. The experts, of course, are all up on the Spurs because they have been so dominant in the West for so long. They are tough and poised with a superstar player (Duncan) a couple of stars (Parker, Ginobili) and a alot of quality veterans (see Robert Horry). It is really hard to pick against them. They are a disciplined and well coached, but as we all know, in the NBA, especially during the playoffs it's about the matchups. And the Spurs do not match up very well with the Nuggets. Nene was an absolute beast, Camby did his thing, Blake was solid and composed, Carmelo looked like the superstar he is supposed to be. But there was one player that was a matchup nightmare for the Spurs, Allen Iverson.
Allen Iverson gives the Nuggets a chance to win the series. Allen Iverson owns the second best playoff scoring average right behind, yep, Michael Jordan. He shoots over Parker, he goes around or gets fouled by Bowen, he challenges the defense everytime down the court. Melo cannot get double or tripled teamed with him on the floor. Allen Iverson single-handedly won games for Philly and now he has a athletic team and another superstar to rely on.
The Spurs better be careful or they're gonna be starring in their own post-season defeat sit com cleverly titled: "Who's Guarding Allen?"
Now to the Pistons. Chris Webber is the key to their winning it all. After the heart-wrenching loss to the Heat last season I knew the Pistons as we knew them were through. The formula that had worked so well for so long had broken down and changes had to happen. That's why I really can't hate on Ben Wallace. It was time for a change. Ben is a great defender, a great leader and a great energy guy/rebounder. But Ben killed us offensively last year in the playoffs.
Webber is the prodigal son of Michigan sports. He is finally back home in Detroit. He wants to win. He is crafty, he is a great passer, he hits most of his free-throws, he can score inside and outside, he is tough and though his knees are not what they once were, he can still throw down around the bucket. The rest of the players we know well, we know what they can do. The bench is deep and talented, the backcourt is the best in basketball. Prince is so underrated and so consistent and is a matchup headache. Rasheed: Rasheed has the God-given talent and physical abilities to be the best player on the floor in every game. He can score from anywhere, he is an excellent defender, when he wants to be. I hope he wants to be this playoff season because if Webber plays hungry and Rasheed plays to his potential we'll be raising another banner in June.
This school day is boggin me down. I was in a great mood coming in today and my 3rd period nearly stole my joy. Thank goodness I got it back.
Allen Iverson gives the Nuggets a chance to win the series. Allen Iverson owns the second best playoff scoring average right behind, yep, Michael Jordan. He shoots over Parker, he goes around or gets fouled by Bowen, he challenges the defense everytime down the court. Melo cannot get double or tripled teamed with him on the floor. Allen Iverson single-handedly won games for Philly and now he has a athletic team and another superstar to rely on.
The Spurs better be careful or they're gonna be starring in their own post-season defeat sit com cleverly titled: "Who's Guarding Allen?"
Now to the Pistons. Chris Webber is the key to their winning it all. After the heart-wrenching loss to the Heat last season I knew the Pistons as we knew them were through. The formula that had worked so well for so long had broken down and changes had to happen. That's why I really can't hate on Ben Wallace. It was time for a change. Ben is a great defender, a great leader and a great energy guy/rebounder. But Ben killed us offensively last year in the playoffs.
Webber is the prodigal son of Michigan sports. He is finally back home in Detroit. He wants to win. He is crafty, he is a great passer, he hits most of his free-throws, he can score inside and outside, he is tough and though his knees are not what they once were, he can still throw down around the bucket. The rest of the players we know well, we know what they can do. The bench is deep and talented, the backcourt is the best in basketball. Prince is so underrated and so consistent and is a matchup headache. Rasheed: Rasheed has the God-given talent and physical abilities to be the best player on the floor in every game. He can score from anywhere, he is an excellent defender, when he wants to be. I hope he wants to be this playoff season because if Webber plays hungry and Rasheed plays to his potential we'll be raising another banner in June.
This school day is boggin me down. I was in a great mood coming in today and my 3rd period nearly stole my joy. Thank goodness I got it back.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Saturday Church
Going to church on Saturday is no different than going to church on Sunday as far as the day goes. If my local church suddenly switched days, Iwouldn't stop attending.
Romans 14:5 and 6
5
¶ One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
6
He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks. Col. 2.16
But what about the Sabbath day? Isn't that THE day we should be having our services if we were really following the Scripture?
Deuteronomy 5:12-15
Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee. Ex. 16.23-30 ; 31.12-14
13
Six days thou shalt labor, and do all thy work:
14
but the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, Ex. 23.12 ; 31.15 ; 34.21 ; 35.2 · Lev. 23.3 thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou.
15
And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day.
I don't see any kind of gathering or service or any kind of organized worship mentioned anywhere in the commandment. It looks like it is a day of rest to remind Israel who it was that gave them the opportunity to enjoy a day off, the LORD, and to thank Him for delivering them from bondage in Egypt where they had no rest.
Colossians 2:16 and 17
16
¶ Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of a holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days: Rom. 14.1-6
17
which are a shadow of things to come; but the body is of Christ.
I love these verses because they are about the freedom Christ brings to us, freedom from legalism. Instead they offer beautiful grace.
So, if your Bible-believing church meets on Saturday it doesn't matter what people think, or what "traditions" we have imposed on ourselves, go and worship.
Talk to you later.
Romans 14:5 and 6
5
¶ One man esteemeth one day above another: another esteemeth every day alike. Let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind.
6
He that regardeth the day, regardeth it unto the Lord; and he that regardeth not the day, to the Lord he doth not regard it. He that eateth, eateth to the Lord, for he giveth God thanks; and he that eateth not, to the Lord he eateth not, and giveth God thanks. Col. 2.16
But what about the Sabbath day? Isn't that THE day we should be having our services if we were really following the Scripture?
Deuteronomy 5:12-15
Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it, as the LORD thy God hath commanded thee. Ex. 16.23-30 ; 31.12-14
13
Six days thou shalt labor, and do all thy work:
14
but the seventh day is the sabbath of the LORD thy God: in it thou shalt not do any work, Ex. 23.12 ; 31.15 ; 34.21 ; 35.2 · Lev. 23.3 thou, nor thy son, nor thy daughter, nor thy manservant, nor thy maidservant, nor thine ox, nor thine ass, nor any of thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates; that thy manservant and thy maidservant may rest as well as thou.
15
And remember that thou wast a servant in the land of Egypt, and that the LORD thy God brought thee out thence through a mighty hand and by a stretched out arm: therefore the LORD thy God commanded thee to keep the sabbath day.
I don't see any kind of gathering or service or any kind of organized worship mentioned anywhere in the commandment. It looks like it is a day of rest to remind Israel who it was that gave them the opportunity to enjoy a day off, the LORD, and to thank Him for delivering them from bondage in Egypt where they had no rest.
Colossians 2:16 and 17
16
¶ Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of a holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days: Rom. 14.1-6
17
which are a shadow of things to come; but the body is of Christ.
I love these verses because they are about the freedom Christ brings to us, freedom from legalism. Instead they offer beautiful grace.
So, if your Bible-believing church meets on Saturday it doesn't matter what people think, or what "traditions" we have imposed on ourselves, go and worship.
Talk to you later.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Church Folk
I was reading a friend's blog and the honesty of what he was saying really hit me. What about church? Why do we go? I have been through two vicious church splits personally and I was able to encourage a pastor friend of mine about a year ago because of my experiences. I am always struck by the capacity of the head deacon or assistant pastor or song leader, any leader in the church really, to turn into a servant of the devil. I know, everyone sins, but these men are supposed to be spiritual leaders in both the church and the community and I'm not talking about forgetting to thank God for the food or not giving to the Lord. I'm talking about keeping notes to use against the pastor at a later time while openly supporting him in business meetings, I'm talking about trying to desperately show why a pastor is unfit to preach by wildly attacking his family. Backstabbing, lying, hateful things. And the vast majority of the people who have supported the pastor for years and years just sit there and watch him take it, or worse jump in with harsh words that they'd been storing up and suddenly found an opportunity to use.
Why meet weekly with hypocrites who really desire nothing more than to have power and found that a church setting is one of the easiest venues in which to achieve some level of noteriety? After all, show up to church, keep your real feelings secret, quote some scripture and wallah, you're a trustee in charge of all the funds God gives the church for it's various needs. Nice powerful position.
Well, I've asked myself these questions. But I keep coming back to the same answer and thus to church.
"Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together as the manner of some is."
There it is, in the Bible right in front of my face. Not a suggestion, not a maybe, that's what it says. Also, I find it hard to give my offering if I'm not at church. Sure, I could always mail it to a ministry I used to attend or one I am familiar with, but that still doesn't get me around the scripture.
There are genuine christians at church, good people who love the Lord and live their lives by the Bible. I try not to view things by my past experiences. My pastors were always a good example to me in that when they were treated wrongly by the people they commited their lives to minster to, they just saw it as God's way of moving them along in another direction. I know they were hurt, their families were hurt, but they saw God's will in it all.
So there it is. Am I reserved around "church folk"? Yes, I am more cautious than I was growing up in church. I try to take people as they are. Are they christians because they say so and go to church every Sunday and Wednesday? No, they're not. You can tell by what people say and do, if you are around them long enough, whether they are truly christians. (Sometimes it doesn't take very long) Does that mean my negative experiences should keep me from fellowshipping and keeping Gods commandments? No, all experiences are learning experiences, I just have to use what God has taught me for his glory and continue to follow His leading.
PS-Chuck, you have no blog. When will you begin your own blog? You need a blog Chuck, a blog I say!
Why meet weekly with hypocrites who really desire nothing more than to have power and found that a church setting is one of the easiest venues in which to achieve some level of noteriety? After all, show up to church, keep your real feelings secret, quote some scripture and wallah, you're a trustee in charge of all the funds God gives the church for it's various needs. Nice powerful position.
Well, I've asked myself these questions. But I keep coming back to the same answer and thus to church.
"Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together as the manner of some is."
There it is, in the Bible right in front of my face. Not a suggestion, not a maybe, that's what it says. Also, I find it hard to give my offering if I'm not at church. Sure, I could always mail it to a ministry I used to attend or one I am familiar with, but that still doesn't get me around the scripture.
There are genuine christians at church, good people who love the Lord and live their lives by the Bible. I try not to view things by my past experiences. My pastors were always a good example to me in that when they were treated wrongly by the people they commited their lives to minster to, they just saw it as God's way of moving them along in another direction. I know they were hurt, their families were hurt, but they saw God's will in it all.
So there it is. Am I reserved around "church folk"? Yes, I am more cautious than I was growing up in church. I try to take people as they are. Are they christians because they say so and go to church every Sunday and Wednesday? No, they're not. You can tell by what people say and do, if you are around them long enough, whether they are truly christians. (Sometimes it doesn't take very long) Does that mean my negative experiences should keep me from fellowshipping and keeping Gods commandments? No, all experiences are learning experiences, I just have to use what God has taught me for his glory and continue to follow His leading.
PS-Chuck, you have no blog. When will you begin your own blog? You need a blog Chuck, a blog I say!
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